Every morning at 7:45, I kiss my dog’s wet nose goodbye and tell him how much I love him and that I’ll see him later that day. And then I leave him. And I feel like it’s probably more emotionally traumatic for me than for him.
But I have to be honest: I can’t tell you how many times during my work day that I wish I were at home, cuddling with my dog. But wouldn’t it be even better if you could be at home, cuddling on your bed with no responsibilities, every single day?
If only I were a dog…
Here are 10 reasons we all really wish we could Freaky Friday switch lives with our dogs:
1. There are no responsibilities. It would be so nice to not have to worry about bills, work, relationships…a dog is only worried about what’s present at that moment.
2. People automatically want to touch and cuddle you. Whenever you walked in a room, everyone would flock to you and coo and tell you how cute you were. I can’t think of anything better.
3. You never have to worry about what to eat, and where your next meal is coming from. I worry about my dog’s weight probably more than I worry about my own. Which is saying something. I’m always fretting over whether or not he’s eating enough, if I should be supplementing his food for him. It’s like being a child.
4. All the love. Seriously, I can’t even stress this enough. Everyone loves dogs. Everyone loves you. Everyone wants to love on you and I’m always jealous, while people are cooing over my adorable puppy.
5. Exercise is fun. Okay, let’s be real. Exercising can be kinda lame. But dogs LOVE it. They’re like, “I CAN GO ON A RUN? F*CK YES.” Man, that’s the life.
6. Every moment of your life is the best moment of your life. Seriously, dogs are always happy. Everything is the best thing ever. I wish I could have that kind of positive attitude.
7. Naked. All the time. Need I say more?
8. No one cares that you never bathe. I mean, it’s kinda gross if your dog stinks, but it’s no one’s fault but your own! No one can complain if you smell bad if it’s THEIR fault. Plus, let’s be real, the motivation that it takes to get in the shower is unreal.
9. You can pee wherever. I mean, yeah, people will get pissed if you pee on the couch, but toilets aren’t even a thought to a dog. A bush? I should pee on that. A wall? I’m gonna pee on it. A mean person’s leg? I’m already peeing.
10. Did I mention free food? Because it would be so nice to go back to the childhood days of not worrying where your food would be coming from. Just having it magically appear in a bowl that is JUST yours? Pure bliss.
Go home and cuddle your dog, and try not to feel too sad while thinking about how much easier and comfortable his life is than yours. Because your dog has a good life. And I’m jealous.