Down With The Denim: Jeans Suck And Here’s Why

Do you have a piece of clothing that you just do not like? Maybe it’s heels, maybe it’s crop-tops, maybe it’s sweaters (they’re itchy, okay?). For me, my least favorite article of clothing is jeans. I hate jeans. And I’m not afraid to openly admit it. I believe that any girl who tells you she likes jeans is straight up lying through her teeth.

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Why do I hate jeans? Ah, let me tell you.

1. Jeans shopping is actually the worst. Have you ever been jeans shopping? Of course you have. Now, let me ask you another question: have you ever had fun jeans shopping? Yeah, didn’t think so. Jeans shopping sucks. A lot. You literally have to try on so many pairs to have any hope of finding one that fits. What’s more fun than spending a few hours in dressing rooms trying to jump, wiggle, or otherwise force yourself into dozens of uncomfortable denim leg prisons? Oh right, everything. 

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2. Jeans sizes make literally no sense. Can somebody explain to me why nobody has figured out how to make pants in consistent sizes?! You can literally wear at least three different sizes of pants. Aside from the fact that this is basically the most confusing thing ever, it also wreaks havoc on your body image. And yes, I know this point basically proves that size means nothing, but it’s something I struggle with regardless, and I know I’m not the only one out there.

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3. Jeans are really f*ing expensive. I’m 23 – I don’t exactly have excess funds laying around, and you probably don’t either. That being said, I sure as hell don’t want any small amount of funds I do save up going towards a piece of clothing that I don’t even like. Rather than spend my hard earned cash on jeans, I would much rather spend that money on traveling, or hey, wild thought: clothes that I actually want to wear.

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4. Jeans are SO UNCOMFORTABLE. Finally we come to what underlies all previous arguments: jeans are not comfortable! That damn button digs into your stomach for hours on end, ‘jeggings’ don’t stretch nearly as much as advertised to, and don’t even get me started on skinny jeans, because in addition to not fitting your thighs, those also don’t fit your calves. In terms of comfort, jeans are the anti-yoga pant.

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Jeans suck. And I’ll leave it at that.

Featured Image Via Tumblr

3 COMMENTS

  1. I used to wear them when I went through various points of not feeling bothered about coordinating skirts and tops. But I never could find a pair that fit decently. If they’re comfortable at the waist, then they bag at the leg. If they’re fitted at the leg, then they dig ferociously at the waist. High-waisted ones look dowdy. Low jeans give me a muffin top. Last summer I started a skirts-only experiment that has lasted nearly a year. (For going out, I mean. I like lounging-type pants at home.) Leggings underneath for shorter skirts or colder days; longer flowing skirts for warmer days. I’ve never felt so comfortable and confident! From what I’ve read, many women and men refuse to wear jeans!

  2. Agreed. I stopped wearing jeans when I got a legit job and have not touched denim since. I can’t wait for this trend to be over with.

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