Everything Happens For A Reason: Why Our Past Shapes Us, But Doesn’t Define Us

We live in the now, so why does our past matter? We never want to dwell on it. I mean that’s where all the bad things are right? The heartbreaks, the mistakes you made, the things you cant change. All we want to do is move forward. It’s the whole “the sun will come out tomorrow” mentality that Annie taught us. But sometimes we need our pasts to be able to move forward. We are stuck in this push and pull effect. Our past pulling us back and our future pulling us away from it. We’re stuck in the present, affected by our past, and working towards the future.

That move your family had when you were seven? It changed your life. Think about it. You changed schools, made new friends, and had to reinvent yourself the same way you do multiple times throughout your life. Your success in high school determines your college experience. Then college sets you up for the career you have. And the career shapes the rest of your life.

That best friend that ditched you when you went into high school? Yeah that sucked and yeah you felt left behind and betrayed because you didn’t put all that effort into your friendship to just have it end. But losing them helped strengthen your other friendships – the friendships that you really needed in your life. Your friends who will one day be your bridesmaids. The ones that will last a lifetime and not just until your college graduation and everyone goes in different directions.

And then there’s that boy. The one you loved and will always have a soft spot for because he was the first person to really steal your heart. He may have been your best friend. Or maybe the boy that sat next to you in math that you only talked to when he asked you a question about the homework. Either way he has probably shaped you more than you can tell and more than he will ever know. He has set the path for how you allow other boys to treat you. You will always look for guys like him even if you don’t mean too. You will look for the guys with the big hearts and brown eyes simply because that’s what he has.

Your past is very much a part of your present because your past is very much a part of you. The people and places that you grew up with are part of you and you can’t ever really out run that. The way you talk, the way you treat other people, even the way you treat a class all shows your character. And let’s face it, all your past does is assist you in developing the person you’re striving to become.

Featured image via Hassan OUAJBIR on Pexels


  1. I’m so thankful for my past, although I often wish it was different. It has made me who I am and I embrace that now, so many unique qualities and the true gift of empathy and understanding. Do not feel ashamed for feelings from your past, you do not have to accept the wrongs, just realise it’s not your fault, some people don’t have the same gift of awareness as you. Don’t let the way they treated you define you, they were also fallible human beings. Don’t bury what you felt (feel), it will always come come back. Feel it over and over until it loses it effect on you, and also we have feelings for a reason. I didnt listen to mine because I thought the past was effecting my current behaviour. Listen to yourself, if it feels wrong, it is.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.