I was sitting in my car earlier, scrolling through TikTok, when I came across a video of a bride who decided not to wear makeup on her wedding day. I watched the video and thought to myself, “Hell yeah! Embrace that natural beauty, girl!” It felt so refreshing to see a woman feel comfortable in her skin, choosing to go makeup-free on one of the most important days of her life. But when I scrolled down to the comments, I was disappointed. People were calling her a “pick me” girl.
A “pick me” girl. Ugh, I don’t even know where that term came from, but I swear it’s thrown around way too much in today’s world. You don’t wear makeup? “Oh, she’s a pick-me.” You hang out with guys more than girls? “Oh, she’s a pick-me.” Why does it bother people so much? What does it even do to affect you?
If a woman doesn’t want to wear makeup, let her. If she prefers hanging out with a group of guys instead of girls, let her. If it doesn’t impact your life, why does it concern you so much?
I’m someone who doesn’t wear makeup often. It’s not because I don’t think makeup is beautiful—I do! It’s just that it doesn’t tend to stay on my skin for long. Honestly, I also don’t feel that I need it. I’ve never really learned how to contour or “bake” my face. When I do wear makeup, it’s usually the bare minimum: a little mascara, maybe some concealer, and that’s it.
Does this mean I’m a “pick me” girl? No, absolutely not.
And here’s another thing: I don’t hang out with girls much. I find it much easier to spend time with guys. Have you met girls? The drama, the gossip, the passive-aggressive comments. Sometimes, it’s just not worth it. I’d rather chill alone or hang out with a laid-back group of guys—no unnecessary drama.
But somehow, this is seen as a problem. I don’t get it. Why is it such a big deal if a girl doesn’t fit into the stereotypical box of female behavior? Why must we label her with something negative just because she’s doing her own thing?
We need to start distinguishing between the two types of women.
First, there are the girls who do certain things to impress guys. They put on an act, adjusting their behavior or interests just to seem more appealing to men. Then, there are the women who genuinely do what feels right for them, regardless of what others think. These women are unbothered, confident, and comfortable in their own skin.
The issue is that the girls we often refer to as “pick me girls” are trying hard to be like the ones who are truly unbothered. They see the confidence, the ease, and the energy these women bring, and they desperately want that for themselves. But instead of embracing who they are and finding their version of confidence, they overdo it. They force it. And that’s when it starts to look inauthentic.
Instead of labeling women, we should just focus on the energy we bring to the table. What we do and who we choose to hang out with should not define our worth. Whether we’re wearing makeup, hanging out with guys, or choosing to be alone doesn’t make us any less of a person. It’s all about being true to yourself and not letting others dictate who you should be.
Every woman should be able to make her own choices without being criticized for them.
If she decides not to wear makeup, it’s her decision, which doesn’t make her any less beautiful. If she prefers hanging out with guys, that’s her choice too, and it doesn’t make her any less of a woman. We all need to stop policing each other for how we express ourselves and start supporting one another for being authentically ourselves.
So the next time you feel the urge to call someone a “pick me” girl, ask yourself why it bothers you. Is it because she’s doing something different from you? Is it because she seems more comfortable in her skin? Let’s stop judging each other for our personal choices and focus on being the best versions of ourselves. Let’s inspire change by stopping the harmful practice of labeling.
The only label that matters is the one you give yourself. And that should be one of confidence, respect, and self-love.
Featured image via Los Muertos crew on Pexels
Such a powerful reminder of how deeply connected our mental health is to the way we judge (or support) ourselves and others.
Constant labeling, like calling someone a “pick me,” only feeds insecurity and shame—both for the person targeted and those watching. Everyone deserves to feel safe in their choices without fear of criticism. Respecting individuality and letting people just be is one of the kindest things we can do—not just for them, but for our own peace of mind too.
https://rebuilding-recovery-center.com/therapies/trauma-therapy/
Social media platforms like TikTok often bring out strong opinions in comment sections, but moments like this still highlight how important it is to support people feeling comfortable in their own skin. Honestly, that kind of positive individuality reminds me of the freedom people enjoy in the EaglerCraft, where players can express themselves and make choices that reflect their own style without worrying about judgment.