Stop saying sorry.
When shit hits the fan, when plans don’t go as expected, or when something happens the way it shouldn’t, the first thing we usually hear from the other person is “sorry.” It’s a word we’re all familiar with—we say it when we mess up, feel bad for someone, and sometimes just to fill the silence. There are times when it’s totally justified, but there are too many times when it’s the last thing you should say.
Honestly? I’ve had enough of the empty, half-assed apologies that people throw around just to get out of taking responsibility.
The other day, someone forgot to tell me a pretty important piece of information about our plans. And by “forgot,” I mean they just didn’t bother—until two minutes before we were supposed to meet. Naturally, I was pissed, and I didn’t try to hide it when they called. Fast forward to the day when I reached out to them about something else. As expected, I get hit with a casual, “Yeah, sorry about the other day, blah blah blah happened.”
But what are you sorry for? Sorry that I got mad? Sorry that you got caught being inconsiderate? Let’s be real—you weren’t sorry when it actually mattered. You didn’t care enough to give me a heads-up, but now that you feel awkward, now you’re apologizing? No thanks.
This is why I’m so tired of hearing “sorry.” People don’t always say it because they actually feel bad—they say it so they don’t have to make up for the shitty thing they did. It’s like a free pass to wipe their hands clean and move on, without ever having to deal with the consequences.
But an apology without action is just an excuse. If you say “sorry” but don’t change anything, then what exactly are you apologizing for?
You know what the worst part is? This happens all the time.
How often has someone hurt you, thrown out a weak “sorry,” and expected you to act like nothing happened? They don’t change their behavior, they don’t take responsibility, and they sure as hell don’t try to do better next time. For those people, “sorry” becomes this magic word that’s supposed to erase everything. But, without actual accountability, it’s meaningless.
At this point, I’d rather someone just not apologize if they don’t mean it. I’d rather hear, “Yeah, I messed up,” or even, “I wasn’t thinking,” than a lazy “sorry” that holds no weight. At least then, I know where we stand.
Here’s the thing: real apologies come with action.
If you’re actually sorry, you make an effort to fix it. You take responsibility, you try to make it right, and–most importantly–you make sure it doesn’t happen again. But you don’t just throw out the word like it’s a magic eraser and expect everyone to move on.
Don’t get me wrong—I understand that, at times, “sorry” is just a reflex. If I bump into someone, I say it without thinking. If a friend is having a rough day, I’ll say, “I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.”
But those are different. When it comes to actual accountability, people need to do better.To everyone out there tossing around empty apologies: stop. If you’re not actually sorry, don’t say it. If you are, then prove it. I, for one, am so damn tired of hearing it.
Photo by Brandon Russell on Unsplash
I have been in the same situation. The sound of block blast is also very simple but extremely ‘catchy’ when the blocks explode. Contributing to increasing the feeling of victory many times over.
That example of someone giving a heads-up just two minutes before meeting really hit home.
While apologies have their place, constantly saying “sorry” can slope 2 sometimes become a reflex that adds little value to the situation.