The other day, I was on Facebook, which I hardly even check anymore, and saw that someone I went to high school with had changed her last name from her married name to her middle name. I thought, “That’s weird,” so I clicked on her profile, assuming it was just a coincidence. But no, her husband was gone. Not just from her photos, but from her friends list, too.
It’s not the first time I’ve seen something like that. But every time it happens, it makes my jaw drop a little. Sure, we all see breakups on social media, and sometimes it’s not that shocking. But when it’s someone your age, someone who just posted wedding pictures a few years ago, it hits differently. You catch yourself thinking, “Wait… already?”
But, if you really think about it, it starts to make sense.
Most of the people I see getting divorced young are the ones who got married before 25. And as much as I hate admitting that, because I truly don’t want to see anyone hurting, it adds up.
Our prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that handles reasoning and decision-making, doesn’t fully develop until around 25.
That basically means we’re not using our full adult logic before then. We make choices out of emotion, passion, or hope, but not always out of reason. We think we’re ready for forever when, really, we’re still figuring out who we are.
Now, that’s not to say young marriages can’t work. It absolutely can. Some people grow together, and that’s beautiful. But for many, it’s just too early, too soon to fully understand who you are and what kind of love actually fits you long-term.
That realization has made me a lot kinder to myself. Because for a long time, I thought I was behind.
I’ve been out of the dating game for a while. Life took me in a different direction, and for years, it really bothered me. I thought, “This isn’t what I pictured.” I saw friends get engaged, go on honeymoons, buy houses – and there I was. Showing up to weddings solo, clinking champagne glasses with my cousins, pretending I didn’t feel a little left out.
But now, I get it.
There’s something sacred about waiting until you’re ready, truly ready.
Marriage isn’t just a Pinterest board and a pretty dress. It’s a lifelong partnership. Marriage is building a home, not just buying a house. It’s seeing someone through every version of yourself and still choosing them every single day.
That’s not something I want to rush.
These days, I think a lot of people treat marriage like it’s just another milestone to check off. Some even talk about it like it’s a temporary arrangement. “If it doesn’t work out, we’ll just get divorced.”
And sure, maybe that’s fine for some people. But not for me.
When I get married, I want it to be it. Divorce isn’t something I ever want to consider as an option. I want to build something lasting, a love that feels like home even on the hard days. And if that means waiting longer to find the right person, then I’ll wait. Gladly.
Growing up, I used to think getting married later in life meant you’d somehow “missed your window.” That it would delay everything else, like having kids, a house, or a family, I know I’m not the only one who used to think that way.
But babe, your timeline is precisely that. It’s yours.
If things had happened differently, you’d have a totally different life. And maybe not the one that fits the version of you you’ve grown into.
When I look back at who I was at 22, 23, and 24, wow. I loved hard, but I didn’t always love wisely. Back then, I didn’t know myself the way I do now. I was still figuring out my boundaries, goals, and my worth. If I had gotten married then, I probably would’ve built my life around someone else before ever learning how to build it for myself.
Now, I look at the life I’ve created on my own and feel proud. I’m not behind; I’m just in progress. I’m becoming. And I want the person I end up with to meet me here, not back there.
So no, I’m not in a rush. I’m okay with being the one who gets married later, with taking my time because I know what I want – a partner who matches my peace, not disrupts it—a man who walks beside me, not ahead of me.
And maybe one day I’ll look back and think, Thank God I waited.
Because some of the best things in life aren’t on the early timeline. They’re on the right one.
Featured image via Trung Nguyen on Pexels
