You Were Supposed To Be My Maid Of Honor

I still think about you. Not every second, but enough that it catches me off guard sometimes. I wonder where you are now, what you’re up to, and what you’ve accomplished. I can’t believe how long it’s been since we last spoke—how a friendship like ours could end so quietly, with just a slow, steady fade into nothing.

At first, I was mad. Mad that you let our friendship fizzle out. I tried to fight for it, for you. I reached out,  made plans,  tried to keep us connected, but  you showed me  you didn’t care.You didn’t care, not as much as I thought you did, or as much as you said you did. It hurt, realizing that someone I once idolized didn’t  value me the same way.

I wouldn’t say things ended dramatically, with some explosive argument. We didn’t have a massive falling out. It was more like a slow unraveling. I was just…tired. Tired of putting in all the effort,  being the one to always reach out, to always care a little too much while you seemed fine letting it all drift. I stood there, still clinging to the idea of us, while you had already let go.

Thing is, I really thought you’d be my maid of honor one day. 

I pictured you standing next to me, helping  fix my veil, making sure my dress sat just right, and laughing with me over the ridiculousness of it all. I thought you’d be an “aunt” to my kids, and yours would be like family to me. And I saw us growing old together, with inside jokes that only deepened with time.

But now? I don’t  think I’d  invite you to the wedding. That’s not out of anger or spite; it’s just the reality of where we ended up. We outgrew each other, plain and simple. You went one way, and I went another. The paths  never crossed again.

They say people come into our lives for seasons, and we reached our season finale. 

It’s like one of those episodes where a main character leaves the show, moving on to something bigger, and the rest of the cast has to keep going without them. Maybe that’s what happened to us. I kept moving forward, and you stayed where you were. And that’s fine—it’s what you needed, and I’m okay with that.

I’ll always have the memories. The late-night drives,  too-loud laughter, and inside jokes no one else could  understand. I’ll always be grateful for the chapter we shared, even if it’s closed now.

Maybe that’s the bittersweet truth about growing up: Sometimes, the people you thought would be in your life forever aren’t. 

And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean it wasn’t real, or that it didn’t matter. It just means that, for a little while, we were exactly what each other needed. 

So, here’s to the friends who were supposed to stand by our side, and to the ones who actually will. Here’s to the chapters that end, and the ones still waiting to be written.

Photo by Keenan Constance on Unsplash