When someone does us wrong—whether it’s a partner, a friend, or anyone close to us—we instinctively start searching for closure. It’s like we need to put a neat little bow on the situation so it can make sense in our heads. We think that if we can just get an explanation, an apology, or some kind of resolution, it’ll hurt a little less.
But the thing about closure? We’re not guaranteed it. It’s not some automatic right we get after being treated badly. And that’s the hardest pill to swallow—especially when we know we didn’t deserve the way things ended.
We chase closure because we’ve been conditioned to believe it’s necessary. We’re taught that every conflict should have a resolution, every question should have an answer. And sure, in a perfect world, people would own up to their mistakes, take accountability, and give us the peace we’re looking for. But this world? It’s not perfect. People can be selfish, avoidant, and downright careless with other people’s feelings.
We don’t always get the final conversation. We don’t always get a heartfelt apology. And honestly? Even when we do, it doesn’t always change anything. Because closure isn’t about what someone else says or does—it’s about how you decide to move forward without them.
You have to find closure within yourself.
This took me years to learn and trust me, it wasn’t an easy lesson. I used to think that if I could just get people to explain themselves, andmake them see how they hurt me, t could finally move on. But all it ever did was leave me feeling even more frustrated.
Because here’s the truth: You don’t need closure from them. You need closure from yourself.
You have to accept things as they are, not as you wish they would be. You have to be okay with knowing that some people will never acknowledge what they did. You have to stop searching for peace in people who don’t even care that they hurt you.
And that’s the hardest part, isn’t it? Realizing that the person who hurt you might not care enough to make it right. That realization stings. But it’s also freeing—because once you stop waiting for them to fix it, you take your power back.
People will ghost you. They will betray you. They will walk away without giving you the decency of an explanation. And when that happens, you have two choices:
- You can drive yourself crazy trying to figure out why, replaying every conversation, obsessing over what you could have done differently.
- Or you can say “Screw this, I deserve better” and let them go without looking back.
And let me tell you—choosing to let go is the ultimate form of self-respect.
You don’t need to beg someone to explain why they treated you like you didn’t matter. You don’t need to force someone to acknowledge your pain. The fact that they didn’t respect you enough to communicate properly is your closure. It tells you everything you need to know.
Closure Isn’t an Apology—It’s a Decision
At the end of the day, closure isn’t about getting an apology or an explanation. It’s about making peace with the situation on your terms. It’s about deciding you don’t need an “I’m sorry” to move on.
It’s about realizing that some people will never be able to give you what you deserve—and instead of letting that break you, you use it as fuel to become stronger.
So no, I’m not looking for closure anymore. I don’t need it. I’m done waiting for people to do the right thing. If you treat me poorly and walk away, I’m not chasing you for answers. I’ll find my peace—without you.
And that? That’s the kind of closure that lasts.
Featured image via Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Wow, this really hit home! It’s so true that you can’t always rely on others for closure. Finding it within yourself is definitely the way to go. Thanks for sharing, it’s a good reminder!
Finding closure within ourselves instead of relying on others is similar to the unexpected developments in poppy playtime chapter 3 realizing our power can lead to a sense of freedom.