Do You Truly Know Why Our Friendship Ended?

I remember seeing you for the last time. I felt so much anger and disappointment from you. You were going away on vacation, and I remember saying to myself, “Good. I have two months without them. I’ll let them reach out to me first and see what happens.” 

I stuck to my word and didn’t contact you. I never saw or heard from you again.

I have to say, this surprised me. I figured I would get a random text from you one day just to check in on me, but nothing—just crickets. I hear from other people that we know that we haven’t spoken. 

So it makes me wonder: Do you know why our friendship ended? Or am I just the bad guy in your eyes?

Life went on, changes happened, and I haven’t heard a word from you. To this day, I still don’t know why.  It’s actually bizarre, seeing as we’d been friends for ten years. How does a friendship just end like that? And how do you go from someone I thought I’d have in my life forever to someone I don’t know anything about anymore? 

I just don’t get it. Do you realize the pain that you caused me? You left me out of conversations, took advantage of me, and even made plans with our friends in front of me. Do you understand how much that hurt, especially coming from you? 

I used to idolize you, and now I don’t like you.  Do you know how upset I was with you the last time we spoke? Or do you just think that I “ghosted” you for the hell of it?

I saw you as a sister, someone I’d have in my life forever. I even thought you’d be at my wedding one day.

But here we are. Not talking. And what upsets me the most is how you’re handling it. I would get worried if I had someone like me in my life and they suddenly stopped talking to me. I’d worry that I’d done something wrong. You know damn well that I would be reaching out to check in. But you haven’t reached out once. 

I’m not just a random person that you met along the way. We bonded, and I don’t understand how you’re OK with us not talking anymore. You don’t even know what I’m doing with my life anymore. 

I could understand if I did something to hurt you, but I know that I didn’t. 

You hurt me, and you made yourself the victim in the situation. 

To some degree, I think you must have known what you did because you haven’t reached out. I hope that’s the case, at least. Otherwise, our friendship meant nothing to you. 

You know, I think of you often. Whenever your birthday comes up, I get the urge to text you and have to stop myself.  We went from celebrating each other to seeing our celebrations through a screen. And we don’t even speak to each other. It truly breaks my heart and boggles my mind. 

But as much as I hate to admit it, I’m kind of glad we went our separate ways. Seeing how things went the last year and a half makes sense. Why would I want a friend who knew they hurt me and didn’t regret it?

I’ll see you when I see you. And if I don’t see you again, I’m okay with that, too. 

Featured image via Vlada Karpovich on Pexels