Everyone dreads a breakup because a broken heart always follows. You may feel like you can never move on and recover, even if you are the one who ended the relationship.
Yes, breaking up is hard to do but with some careful planning and compassion, you can break up with someone in a way that leaves both people with their dignity.
Being in a relationship may be one of the best things to happen to you. But, unfortunately, not all relationships last forever nor do they end well.
Sometimes, it’s up to you to do the difficult thing and break up with your partner.
To minimize the pain of heartbreak so you can both learn how to move on and recover faster, there are some tips to keep in mind.
So, if you’re thinking about breaking up with your partner sometime soon, here are 4 steps to take first.
1. Think calmly
It’s natural to experience intense emotions when a once healthy relationship starts to deteriorate.
Practice relaxation techniques or talk things over with a friend. And try to bring your emotions under control and see the situation objectively.
2. Assess the potential for conflict resolution
Take a frank look at the issues that are troubling you.
Learning to ask for what you need and negotiating win-win solutions can often strengthen a relationship.
3. Take responsibility for your own actions
Hold yourself accountable for whatever decision you make.
If you accept that you contributed to the decline of your relationship, your partner is more likely to adopt a similar approach.
4. Rehearse what you need to say
You’ll feel more comfortable if you know the major points you want to communicate.
With practice, you will also articulate your message more clearly and avoid saying hurtful things that you might later regret.
When you feel more prepared to break up with your partner, here are 4 steps to take during the act.
1. Have a face-to-face discussion
Whenever possible, it’s courteous to end a relationship in person.
It shows more respect for the other person’s feelings and gives them a chance to find closure.
2. Show your appreciation
There’s a reason you got together in the first place.
Let your partner know the good qualities that you admire in them and tell them how being with them has enriched your life.
3. Listen to the other person’s side
Give the other person a chance to talk about what they’re experiencing.
They may have a different view of the same events or want to express their feelings.
4. Stay on track
Focus on your purpose of ending the relationship.
It’s kinder and more effective to be decisive than to offer false hopes of getting back together. No matter what brought you to this point, you both still deserve to be in healthy relationships.
Once you’ve officially broken up, it’s time to learn how to get over a breakup and recover so here are 6 steps to take to heal a broken heart.
1. Give each other recovery time
It’s wonderful if you can remain friends. However, you’ll probably need some time apart to sort things out.
On social networking sites, consider blocking their access to your news feeds for a few weeks.
2. Return each other’s possessions
Some people like to clear away mementos and some just want to get their valuables back.
Be cooperative in trying to get everything home to its original owner in good shape.
3. Avoid flaunting your new relationship
It’s good to be tactful if you’re the first one to start dating again.
Think twice if you suspect that posting all the details of your latest fling on Facebook might hurt someone’s feelings.
4. Remember the good times you shared
You’ll heal more fully if you can treasure happy memories.
Give yourself time and be gentle with yourself while you’re adjusting.
5. Speak well of each other
Speaking well of your ex-partner will help protect you from negative thoughts that only disturb your peace of mind.
It also makes you look more dignified.
6. Change your routine
Even unpleasant life changes unlock new opportunities. Sign up for a cooking class or rediscover an old hobby.
If you’re alone on Saturday night, reconnect with old friends for dinner and a show.
Even when you’re the one who initiated the split, getting over a breakup can still be a distressing event.
Communicating with respect and kindness will help you depart with grace and make it easier for you both to heal and make a fresh start.
Originally published on YourTango