5 Reasons It Can Be Difficult For Men & Women To Be ‘Just Friends’


Can men and women maintain a platonic friendship that won’t turn into something romantic? This is an interesting debate the movie “When Harry Met Sally” brought up, and even concluded that men and women can’t really be friends.

Of course, there will be some who will disagree with this, especially women who have guy friends or guy best friends.

Having a guy best friend and keeping that friendship platonic is what most girls want. He can help you see things through a guy’s perspective. You will feel safe to go out late at night with him because you know he’ll protect you. He can help you hook up with other guys and you can help him hook up with other women.

Life seems perfect when you have a “friends without benefits” kind of platonic relationship with a guy. But in reality, it’s not nor will it ever be that easy.

When you have a guy best friend, there are five things that can make your friendship difficult.

1. People think you’re dating, so you drive other guys away

Some guys don’t want to compete with your guy best friend. They will see him as a threat and feel insecure when the three of you are hanging out together.

The thoughts of you and your guy best friend having a romantic relationship or having hidden feelings can crop up for the other guy and they will find that pursuing a relationship with you will be complicated.

So, even if all you have with your guy best friend is a platonic love, many guys wouldn’t bother approaching you because they assume you are in a relationship.

2. Your new boyfriend probably hates your guy best friend

A boyfriend hating his girlfriend’s guy friend isn’t new. In fact, your new boyfriend might even hate your guy best friend from the start. They both want the best for you, but maybe in different ways.

Your new boyfriend might also see your guy best friend as a threat in your relationship or will even feel insecure about your closeness. He definitely would not want to see your guy best friend being too comfortable touching you.

3. Attraction might exist between you

This might not exist at the start of your friendship. But as time goes by, as you share memories, get to know each other more, and become too comfortable with each other, romance may get into the picture. 

You may end up falling for him, or he may end up falling for you. Guys tend to fall first for their girl best friend because they get the love and respect they’re looking for. However, it would not be an easy transition when romance enters your friendship. There would be a chance that this ruins your platonic friendship, especially when your feelings are not mutual.

4. You can’t cuddle your guy best friend

Many women are touchy and have body contact with their friends a lot. Men, on the other hand, don’t do cuddling. Although his intentions are pure, having your girly parts close to him might cause arousal, which is common in men.

To avoid having that awkward situation, you might need to treat your guy friend differently from female friends when it comes to cuddling or being too touchy.

5. Having a guy best friend may be nothing but trouble

We’re not concluding that men and women cannot be friends or even be best friends — this has worked out for some.

But, there will be a lot of chances that your friendship will go through complicated challenges. This could include falling in love with each other, experiencing unrequited love, hurting a partner’s feelings, or even destroying the relationship.

The question is, are you ready to go through this challenge?

Originally written by Esther Bilbao on YourTango

Feature Image by Felix Rostig on Unsplash



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