If you’ve been married a while, you’ll know how difficult it is to keep the sparks of sexual chemistry flying. In fact, after about the first 2 years, those sparks are hard to come by in many marriages.
It’s not boredom that causes this effect. There’s a scientific reason: our personal attitudes toward sexuality. A 2017 study determined that if we believe “good sex” is a matter of destiny, we’re going to be disappointed. The truth is that enduringly good sex isn’t about destiny; it’s about mutual commitment and work.
Here, we’ll examine 7 ways to rekindle the sexual chemistry in your marriage. The excitement, passion, and attraction are still there – they’re just sleeping. So, let’s figure out how to rekindle that spontaneous combustion between you and keep it burning.
1. Connecting Again
Many married couples lose the sexual spark between them, never questioning why. They carry on, believing other factors compensate for sexlessness. While wistfully remembering the honeymoon period of their relationship, they slide almost unconsciously into being roommates instead of lovers.
But connection changes everything. Sustained eye contact, holding hands, and physical closeness are all components of sexual chemistry. Reintroducing these connective behaviors will remind you both why you got married to begin with.
2. Be Curious
Remember the curiosity you felt about your spouse when you first met? You wanted to know everything about them! So, why don’t you now? Maybe you feel you know everything there is to know about your partner.
But just like life, your spouse is a constantly evolving reality. Renewing your interest in what your spouse thinks, believes, and desires helps to refresh your initial sexual chemistry. Curiosity drives rekindled interest, including sexual interest.
3. Sexual Chemistry By Stealth
Pheromones are part of what provokes sexual attraction. While existing in all mammals and in insects, when human pheromones are released, they have an attractive effect that’s not consciously registered.
Imagine a pheromone-based elixir you could daub a small amount of on your skin to boost your sexual appeal. That elixir has arrived, allowing you to ignite sexual chemistry by stealth. Before you know it, you’ll feel like you’re on your honeymoon again!
4. Restoring Romance
The comfortable familiarity you feel in a marriage is wonderful. But that comfort is a double-edged sword. It can lead to sexual neglect. The solution is to restore the romance that once sustained your love.
Go on a date. Dress up for each other. Give each other significant gifts “just because”. Romance is intimacy. It’s your mutual history as a couple, so make an effort to restore its loving presence in your marriage.
5. Plan an Adventure
Married couples can get in a rut of sitting in front of the television. But in the hours you spend together glued to the TV, you could be doing something exciting, instead.
Plan adventures that speak to your mutual interests. Adventure doesn’t need to be a long-distance journey. It can be something as simple as a trip to the museum or even the amusement park. It can be skydiving or having a picnic in your own living room or the park across the street! Get creative and watch the sparks ignite.
6. Adventure Sexually
Getting the sexual ball rolling can be a challenge but introducing some fun to the bedroom is a time-honored way of achieving that. Sex toys, sexy costumes, and other adult accessories turn up the heat.
Pleasure-enhancing aids bring novelty and giggles to your sex life, offering sexual adventure that titillates you both. Introduce the idea with a flirty smile and an ironically raised eyebrow and watch your partner leap aboard.
7. Go Deep
Communication is at the heart of any relationship. And in marriage, it’s the key to rekindling your sexual chemistry. But before communication can happen, you need to know what’s going on with you. What do you want?
Connecting with your own dissatisfaction is key to finding out what’s going on with your spouse. Only then can communication occur. Sometimes, those communicative efforts may require the help of a third party. Go deep to let the communication between the two of you flow freely.
Find that Sensual Spark
Rekindling the sexual chemistry in your marriage is about love above everything else. Your love is real and you need to do the work to keep those sparks flying. Renew your commitment to each other by nurturing the sexual chemistry that once drew you together.
Featured image via Unsplash by Dainis Graveris of Sexual Alpha