With Thanksgiving coming up in a few weeks, let’s kick start this holiday season off by thanking our boyfriends. Most likely he’s spent a decent amount of his paychecks on your Strawberry Mojitos and those Patrón shots for you and your friends. He spends money on food, so you won’t starve to death. He probably also missed an important football game on TV because you took him out shopping with you, “for like two minutes.” Let’s face it ladies, our men have to deal with us…that calls for a thank you, or maybe thirteen.
- He surprises you on a random day with something sweet and romantic. Like a picnic in the park. Or even a drive around a really upscale neighborhood with GORGEOUS houses. Or just a simple text saying, “Hey beautiful.”
- For putting up with our PMS bullshit…once a month. Admit it, we aren’t the easiest people to be around when Aunt Flo comes; we’re most likely contemplating murder but then cry watching ASPCA commercials. Damn you Sarah McLachlan.
- He tells you how pretty you look. Appreciate the fact that he loves the way you look in sweatpants and a sweatshirt with your hair pulled up in a messy bun.
- For agreeing with you that the bitch from work is in fact, a bitch. He may not have been listening completely but he’s agreeing with you while you vent for a hot second, which in reality is half an hour.
- For not freaking when you blow his phone up with the “where are you?” texts…when really he just fell asleep. He knows better than to tell us to “calm down,” and we love them for that.
- For helping you, with literally everything. For opening the pickle jar for you, even though we all know you just loosened it for him (wink wink). For fixing your computer and for killing that “huge spider.” Or telling you what he thinks might be wrong with your car.
- For paying for everything. From lunch and dinner dates, to movie nights, to birthday gifts…he pays and you’re thankful.
- Driving you literally everywhere. No, I don’t mean he drives you crazy, even though that may be true. He offers to drive whether it is around the corner or a mini road trip to see your best friend who lives a few hours away.
- Pampering you, just because. He plays with your hair, he rubs your back, and he gives you a massage randomly. Just because he knows you’ll love it.
- Accepting that your hair is going to be everywhere. With long hair comes shedding…like a dog…all the time.
- Calling you skinny after you inhale those cheese fries, and that bag of chips, and those cookies. Just thank him for that, because I’m sure it wasn’t an easy thing to watch.
- For putting up with us for all this time. He loves you, and if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have stayed around this long.
- For making promises, and keeping them. He knows we’ve had a shitty track record of assholes in our lives, and he doesn’t plan on being on that list.
Thank you for doing everything you have done for us. And thank you, in advance, for everything you will do in the future.
Without you, we would be a pickleless, road-raged driver, beyond broke, spider frightened, hazardously emotional woman.
We thank you.
Your grateful girlfriends