In the last few weeks, I’ve lost my job, the degree I’ve been working towards has been put on hold, and I dumped my boyfriend. With all of the life changes I’ve had to face, I’ve had even more time than usual to reflect, so here are 11 things I’ve realized during this pandemic.
1. Fast food workers are more valuable to society than you are.
The government considers fast food workers “essential,” that makes them kind of a big deal. While half of the country is unable to work, stuck at home, and wondering how they’re going to make their next rent or mortgage payment, food service workers and package handlers are keeping our economy going. Furthermore, their salaries should reflect how important they are in our society. So, put some respek on their names!.
2. My life circumstances have made me a pro at social distancing.
Being an immigrant, an only child and raised by a single mom means I’ve been social distancing my entire life. Who knew my social awkwardness could save my life?
3. Americans aren’t cooperative enough to survive a pandemic.
Granted, the U.S government has never passed up an opportunity to prove to us why we shouldn’t ever trust them. But when every virologist and epidemiologist in the world tells you that there’s a man eating a virus outside and to stay in your house and practice basic hygiene, you should probably listen. Instead, our response is a unanimous “nah,” which is really unhelpful.
4. Latex gloves are almost every Baby Boomers’ weakness.
They may be able to multiply complex numbers in their heads and write in perfect cursive, but Boomers have no idea how to properly use latex gloves. Watching Boomers touch everything with their gloved hands, then still touch their faces and personal belongings gives me hives. This is why millennials call COVID-19 the “Boomer Remover.”
5. This country does have enough money to help people who need it.
If billionaires and large corporations pay their fair share in taxes, there will be enough money to give Americans $1,200 a month – every month.
6. Sex stores are essential.
I find this to be a crucial piece of information.
7. We can do almost any job remotely.
Many of the jobs that companies said “can’t be remote” had arbitrary requirements that were intentionally biased against the disabled. Now, people are remotely doing those same jobs that wheelchair users originally couldn’t get.
8. Men will risk contracting a man-eating virus for pussy.
Swarms of men on dating apps are risking everything to cuddle up with a “quarantine bae.” They don’t even ask essential questions like, “How often do you wash your hands?” and “Are you currently experiencing any flu-like symptoms?”
9. We need to pay teachers a lot more.
It’s one thing to take care of your child before and after school and on the weekends. But it’s another to have to monitor their behavior and teach them every day. We need to use this time to reevaluate how little we pay teachers. Personally, I think teachers deserve a million dollars a year – or a day., whichever, they both seem fair to me.
10. Most of us aren’t smart enough to survive an apocalypse.
When news of this pandemic broke, millions of Americans decided to stock up and bunker down. But they didn’t clear the shelves of hand soap, chewable vitamin C, or “gingrail.” Instead, they chose to hoard toilet paper, Kleenex, and baby wipes – at the expense of mothers everywhere.
11. Billionaire evangelists ain’t worth a damn.
Local religious leaders have made headlines for continuing to hold their religious services in defiance of distancing order, and many of them died from the virus shortly thereafter.
God may have given us the sun and the moon, but she also gave us microbiologists and epidemiologists. She’s using them to say, “Stay ya ass at home, and praise me from your living room!”
It’s also disheartening that of the billions of dollars donated to help our communities during this time, few have come from our television evangelists.
I have yet to hear a peep out of these Rolls Royce-driving billionaire pastors. Yes, I’m looking at you, Pat Robinson and Creflo Dollar. Maybe I’ve been doing “church” wrong my entire life, but isn’t supporting the community supposed to be their thing?
This pandemic won’t last forever, but it’s given me plenty of time to reflect on the state of the world. We’ll eventually get back to a new normal where we use this opportunity to learn and create a better society.