5 Ways To Build Your Self-Worth Instead Of Seeking It On Social Media


Hey, friend. There’s a constant struggle I have that I bet you deal with, too. The social media comparison game is real and it’s very hard to escape. Social media can play as an advocate or the devil’s advocate. It’s easy to present the best version of ourselves online. We often post the highlights of our lives and never show our struggles with self-worth.

However, it can also be a platform for a good cause and positivity. For instance, my dad received a kidney from a woman he didn’t even know – all because of a Facebook post. Or, there are cases where someone just lost everything in a fire but gets clothes donated thanks to the online word.

All of this goodness makes it difficult to leave social media. So we sit there scrolling through the posts of engagements, weddings, pregnancy announcements, picture-perfect families, and the photos of friends who seem like they are always traveling to all our dream vacation spots. We sit there wondering why aren’t our lives fun and fascinating and full of life like the lives of the people we follow on social media. We wonder why we don’t get 1,000 likes. And then, we wonder why we can’t appear that way. Is it the filter they use? Is it the way they pose? Or is it who they follow… maybe I should go follow some of their followers?

If you feel yourself spiraling, ask yourself this: Would all the things you want to do still be worth it if you couldn’t post it on social media. Don’t let yourself define happiness based on ‘likes.’ Here are 5 ways you can build your self-worth instead of seeking it on social media:

1. Start a gratitude journal

It’s so easy to complain about your “subpar” life when you see these amazing things on social media. When I start complaining to my mom about anything, she stops me and says, “Tell me 3 things you’re grateful for.” I used to always roll my eyes and huff at her, but now I realize how much power that has. No matter how bad life seems, there is always something to be grateful for. Moreover, saying it out loud has a lot of power.

2. Make an attainable to-do list

Sometimes it seems like your life is a big jumbled mess and you have no idea how people on social media have it all together. So to keep myself in order, I often make to-do lists. It can be daily, weekly, monthly, or even yearly. The point is that you always have something you’re striving toward.

3. Remind yourself of the bigger picture

Don’t be fooled: No one is ever as perfect as they seem on social media. We get wrapped up in what we assume someone’s life and happiness are like, all based on a tiny image or two. You just cannot play the game of wishing you were someone else. Next time you feel this way, write down the things you value in life. This can be anything like strong friendships, a fulfilling career, a religious connection, or something more specific to you. The more you define what “happiness” in life means to you, the more you’ll realize how little social media matters.

4. Have a photoshoot with your friends

Who says we can’t throw on some makeup, curl our hair, and put on a dress with our friends with a pretty landscape? If you’ve never done this, try it! You don’t need a professional photographer or camera. All you need is your smartphone (and maybe some fun backdrops). It’ll make you feel great about your self-worth when your best gal pals are behind the camera telling you to work it!

5. Exercise

Exercising isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. It wasn’t mine either until I joined Orange Theory. No matter how intensive or lax, getting yourself moving is empowering. I encourage you to find your niche in exercising – whether it’s walking 1-2 miles a day, yoga, strength training, or even simply stretching. Physical movement is scientifically proven to boost your energy and mood.

I am convinced I will always struggle with learning how to be content and believe in my self-worth. I try to tell myself to only focus on what will matter in 100 years, which isn’t social media. So I want you to be encouraged by that, my friend. You don’t have to conform to the online world to be loved – you have a purpose and story where you are. Don’t ever think you’re alone in this or any struggle. I’ve probably been there, too. You have a story and a purpose right where you are. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Featured image via author


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