To The Woman Who Will Love The Man I Used to Love

man woman used to love

Dear woman,

I hope that when you read this, you’ll find comfort in my words. Moreover, I’m not here to motivate you to question your choice of loving him. Sincerely, I am not. It’s not my place. I loved him once, but eventually that love faded away. However, that doesn’t mean that the love the two of you share will falter.

I want you to know that I want the best for him. I said it when our relationship ended, and I hold in my heart to this day. There is no need for anger, no need to take revenge, no need to wish bad things upon him. If you are what’s best for him then I couldn’t be happier. I also want what is best for me and our relationship wasn’t for either of us. Hence, if you are the best for him, then that’s all that matters.  

He is, as I am and I’m sure just as you are, deeply flawed. Only human.

Only trying our best. Figure life out. Trying to ‘adult’ in the best way possible. Trying to make his parents proud. Heal from the loss and pain caused by the love we once had. Please, dear woman, walk kindly on your mutual path with him. If he needs to talk to you about me, about our journey together, please let him. There should be no shame in talking about the one we once loved with the one we love now. We simply outgrew each other. What once worked so well dwindled away and as hard as we tried to hold the pieces of our merged hearts together, we couldn’t. Thus this healing process will take time, for him and me, so please be gentle and let him heal.

Make no mistake, dear woman – you are very lucky to have him. Even more so, you’re lucky to feel his love. I know this firsthand.

I know the type of love he wants to give because he wanted to give it to me. I couldn’t accept it because it was not the type of love I felt I needed. This does not make his love invalid or wrong, only true to him as a man and different from the type of love I need. As I said, we tried to make my kind of love and his kind of love work but we couldn’t. And that’s ok.

Lastly, dear woman, I have this to say… I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I left him broken. I’m sorry that you’re still putting the pieces back together. I never intended to hurt him. Not even once. I simply wanted both of us to feel free to be ourselves and find a love that was deeper than the love we could give each other. He and I aren’t soulmates and we’ve accepted this. I’ve let him go, and I am certainly happy that he found you. 

Love always, 


Featured image from @luizclas via Pexels.


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