How To Tell If Your Friend Is Actually Busy Or They’re Avoiding You

“Is your friend really busy or just trying to avoid you?”

I’ve asked myself this question multiple times over the past few years. I typically bond quickly with others. Then, those “friends” stop putting effort into our friendships and allow years to pass before we speak again. I never understood why this happened.

I can remember one friend in particular who stopped talking to me. We  spoke every day until suddenly he stopped reaching out. Years passed. Then, I saw this friend at my 25th birthday gathering. That night, he said, “I promise it won’t be three years until we see each other again.” Needless to say, I haven’t seen him since, but I know that he still socializes with my other friends. I see pictures of everything he’s doing without me all over social media.

This happened with other friends before, and for a long time, I justified their actions and told myself that they’re just busy. But now, I see that I didn’t take the hint.

These “friends” were trying to break up with me.

I didn’t have the self-worth back then to realize when people treated me poorly. Now, I can tell when someone is genuinely busy versus when they don’t want to be a part of my life.  When I text someone in my small circle of friends, I know that they will answer eventually. However, when a new friend responds instantly for weeks, then suddenly stops responding (but still posts on social media), I know that they have no interest in our friendship.

This realization took me a long time to reach, but it was definitely worth my time. I feel less worried about people who don’t matter. I can now focus my energy on those who truly care.

You should never beg people to stay in your life.

Everyone’s lives become hectic at times. However, nobody just drops off the face of the planet for weeks at a time. Mature, honest people share when life gets busy and don’t leave you hanging.  If someone can’t do that for you, it’s time to let that person go. You must realize that if someone no longer wants to be in your life, the least they can do is approach you respectfully. If they won’t, bring up the issue yourself. You’ll feel better after you do.

Sometimes, it’s better to maintain a smaller social circle and surround yourself with genuine people. The bonds you form are organic and are sure to last longer. Maintaining a smaller circle of friends has helped me gain, more real, meaningful, and honest friendships. The days of one-sided friendships are over, and I know that my true friends love and accept me.

Our lives may feel busy, but no one is ever too busy for a friend who needs help. Being inconsiderate and indifferent impacts everyone in the end. Allow others to treat you the way that you deserve. Set the bar high for all future interactions. You are worthy of others’ time. If they treat you with disrespect, they’re trying to break up with you, and you don’t need that negativity in your life.

Photo by Andy Art on Unsplash


  1. Yes i can totally relate with this…I have this friend whom i have known for years now..we are good friends n I’m also close to his family.but sometimes i feel like he doesn’t care about me…i always initiate texts n if i don’t, then he will never even say hi…he claims he is always busy, hmm…I’m wondering if its possible for one to be too busy just to say hi considering the level of our friendship..


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