The show “You” on Netflix is sweeping us all off of our feet with the brooding, emotional, and oh so romantic Joe.
Joe is beautiful. He’s mysterious, protective, and a hopeless romantic. His undying, undeniable love for Beck is beautiful, isn’t it? It’s just so incredible that he can see her that one time and just know that she’s the one.
Men like Joe are also incredibly dangerous. Guys like this are not romantic. They’re not your knight in shining armor. They are the exact men that you should be avoiding.
Joe is not the type of man that a woman should be searching for. He’s obsessive and impulsive. He literally stalked Beck and killed anyone that seemed like a bad influence. He slowly isolated her from everyone in her life.
This is not a form of love; this is a form of abuse.
Your partner can have opinions about your friends, but they shouldn’t be selecting your friends or eliminating them. And, let’s be real, Joe’s form of “eliminating friends” is beyond controlling… it’s criminal.
He accessed Beck’s emails and text messages. Then he justified his actions by saying that he was only protecting her and keep her safe. While that may sound wonderful, the reality couldn’t be more different. It’s controlling and abusive.
Joe was so worried that Beck was cheating on him that he literally followed her around. He disguised himself so she wouldn’t see him. Joe was literally stalking Beck. That isn’t love. That’s jealous paranoia.
Why are people falling in love with Joe’s character?
He is not chivalrous He’s not romantic. This is not a form of love. It’s stalking, abuse, and obsession. There is nothing romantic about this man whatsoever.
Then there were these fantasies about Joe’s ex, who we know almost nothing about. Beck never discovered what happened to his ex, but the Season 1 cliffhanger ending showed us that Joe really is nothing but bad news.
I can understand wanting to help someone with a broken heart, but that’s not Joe’s issue. Joe is a broken person and there is absolutely no way that he can be put back together. He cannot be pieced together with love; heck, he doesn’t even know what love is.
We shouldn’t be romanticizing abusive men, end of story.
I am not victim blaming Beck at all. She saw what she thought was love and she wanted it. Everyone wants to feel loved; it’s human nature to crave love and adoration. But Joe manipulated her by trying to appear as an ideal partner. Then the illusion ended.
What we should be taking from “You” is what signs to watch out for in the people we choose to date. We live in a time where Joe’s character is very realistic. Be aware of behaviors that seem “off.” You never know when a man could be ready to lock you away in his basement.
Featured image via You on Netflix