Keeping to yourself and staying private has never been regarded as a good thing with the labels over the years of loners, introverts, hermits, etc.. Society likes to poke fun at the ones who choose solitude instead of attending large group activities. But, as it turns out, society tends to get things wrong from time to time.
According to scientific research, most of us choose to spend our time alone simply because that is one of the ways we can unwind. Sometimes, isolation is the fuel we need in order to face the world. So, if this is what you find yourself choosing most of the time, then the moment has come for you to accept yourself and take it in stride. Here are ten signs that will prove you are a ‘loner’ and you are doing just fine:
- You are aware of your need to be alone and you embrace it.
One of the most calming moments in your life was when you finally came to terms with the type of person you are. It might have taken you a few years or maybe you knew it right from the beginning. But, the most important thing is that you finally stopped making excuses and stopped trying to force yourself to be something you’re clearly not. And, you have seen how your life has become so much easier ever since you fully accepted yourself.
- You realize your time is important and don’t want to waste it.
At first, it can be a frightening thing to say ‘no’ to activities you don’t want to do. It is tempting to want to please everyone but, at the same time, it is extremely hard. You’re basically choosing someone else’s happiness over yours; that’s surely not fair. Therefore, it is very rewarding when you finally gather up the courage to put yourself first over somebody else’s needs. You should understand that your time is valuable. And, it should be spent doing the things you actually want to do.
- In spite of being a loner, friends can still rely on you when they need to.
Despite your need for alone time, you still come through when your loved ones need you the most. You make it a point not to miss significant life events like birthdays or graduations ceremonies, or the harder times like breakups or fights. Even though you’re probably not going to show up for the parties, it means that much more to people when you send them a personal message that expresses your feelings in the most loving way possible.
- You are perfectly comfortable with being by yourself most of the time.
While most people would easily get bored or even cranky if they were left alone, you, on the other hand, thrive the most when you are by yourself. You cherish every second of it and take it as an opportunity to fully decompress from the stress of daily life. In fact, spending time alone is how you gather the energy and strength you need to continue to conquer the world.
- You accept that people will never understand why you avoid their company.
Your family and friends will never truly understand why you avoid them for days sometimes even weeks. They will even criticize your lack of social engagement. They will probably say it’s not healthy when it actually is and will exhaust you with their constant need for communication. Don’t worry. Deep down they care for your well-being and they mean well. Try, at least for their benefit, to give them a little bit more time with you.
- You overthink sometimes but that’s a good thing.
Loneliness can be a great muse and your creativity will likely reach its potential when there are no distractions around. While turning your brain off can sometimes seem impossible, it is worth seeing what all those seemingly random thoughts can lead to.
- Your professional life has benefited immensely from this lifestyle choice.
Some people think of groundbreaking ideas while surrounded by others and exchanging thoughts. It is just as common when others do not work in the same way. The world’s greatest minds did not really need anybody else’s input when they were on the brink of making life-changing discoveries.
- You are still compassionate and care deeply about the world around you.
Even though you might seem cold and indifferent to the world around you, there is a soft and caring side underneath all of that. You might choose not to get involved, but when you do, it is definitely for a cause you deeply believe in. And then you are capable of focusing all your energy and resources in achieving a good outcome.
- You sometimes surprise people, and that’s an advantage.
Just because you prefer silence and being alone with your thoughts, does not mean that you never crave the company of others. Sometimes you get a really good feeling and a boost of confidence, and that will likely lead to you making a few spontaneous phone calls and organizing a night out that will surely take everyone by surprise.
- When you finally go out, you know how to have a great time.
We all need a good laugh and a few drinks with our besties once in a while. ‘Hermits’ are definitely not an exception. Most of the time, it’s the quiet people who know how to have the best time. And, when that happens they will always leave everybody else stunned by their sudden lack of inhibitions.
As a person who prefers to be on her own most of the time, I can honestly say that it definitely made me more self-sufficient and less dependent on others. It can be a great feeling to know that you do not need anyone to fulfill you or make you feel good. However, it can be equally satisfying to share your time with the people who are often missing your company.
So, do you agree with these reasons? Or, do you think there are some we forgot to mention? Don’t hesitate to share your experiences as a proud ‘loner’ in the comments.
Great read and well summarized.
This makes sense to me now i,m gonna be honest with you guys this all started the whole me being alone thing when I stopped going to physical school and started doing online school instead even before that I was still was a total introvert the point is the truth is the reason I never really do leave the house anymore like ever is basically because I feel the Earth is not safe place to me I just can’t deal with the chaos of life anymore the point is sometimes I feel like if I go out well this might sound silly to you but sometimes I think something’s gonna catch on fire and a building will burn down in all honesty I am not really a full human only half.
The not human half sounds very interesting
It’s people who don’t care what they do to you and can’t understand why you are upset. These people are in every group, and I am sick of dealing with them and I hope God ends this. When bagging groceries and that becomes a pain in the backside, I think we’re done.
Very good information and “bang on”
As a past “career person”, very much in the public eye, I excelled in everything I chose to do.
Now, in my 60’s I choose to be alone….
I like my own company and the people I choose to see.
I no longer feel I have to meet and exceed the expectations of others.
I understand people who knew the “other person” are conserned and think I have become a recluse and want to “fix me” when in actual fact, I am absolutely at peace and enjoy the solitude.
I’m happy to love my wonderful freedom in this amazing Country and will fight to the death to protect her, but on my daily life, I love the solitude of my
“golden years” and the peace and tranquility of my beloved fur babies.
I used to believe that I had to push past my “comfort zone.” All I got.was.frayed nerves and some hurt feelings. I’m not social in the way other people are and I quit fighting it and blaming myself. I am embarrassed to proclaim it to others, I know my degree of isolation is unusual. But those who know me well, pretty much understand. However no one knows just.how much I isolate. That’s my business. I spend my days in my busy head, getting some exercise and doing creative things in my beautiful light filled studio apartment. I watch magnificent clouds parade behind the mountains that I can see, it’s beautiful.
This is very interesting and good food for thought. I enjoyed the comments too.
I was talking to a therapist friend who is very much into the Enneagram. I said I think I’m a Five, and he said a lot of Fives are Hermits. Which is why I found this article. I’m an INTP on MBTI.
I have friends and even like an occasional concert or gala (otherwise, no big crowds for me). I have been in several long-term relationships and have lived with three men, and had kids and step-kids with one. The last guy I lived with was very extroverted and that was a drain. I have often said about each of those relationships that we played/ adventured/ traveled well together but we didn’t do day to day life well together. I’d like to have someone to do those things with, but I’m not sure I ever want to live with someone again. I crave my solitude and independence too much.