For 25 years, I’ve been living my life completely unaware that everyday items are only for men to use. Apparently, the beer I have been drinking, the tools I have been using, and even the everyday supplies I use for graduate school are all for men. How was I to know I had to spend twice as much on things than men do just because they are for me? Thank the Lord that society has finally decided to differentiate the products that are no longer just for men. What did we ever do to deserve this? 2018 is obviously the year for women.
1. Shampoo.
Who knew I am just an apricot–-I had no idea until this very moment.
2.
Thank God I won’t have to use those manly black and blue ink ones anymore. My notes will look gorgeous just like me!
3. Bathroom signs.
Ah, yes, women are just inanimate objects that both genders wear normally, makes so much sense.4.
Because I truly need to lift weights in sparkly-style.
5.
Does this beer make me look like a boss b*tch yet?
6.
Finally, the tools I needed to fix my broken nail.
7. A Globe.
See the world through the eyes of a female: it’s like a flat-Earther.
8. Books.
Who knew that I was only allowed to be gorgeous and not clever? Thank God! This makes life 10x easier to navigate.9. Cheese.
AND it’s reduced fat?! Score!
10. Scotch Tape.
So you’re telling me all this time I’ve been using men’s scotch tape?
11. Baby Onesies.
Glad to see that girls are taught to hate their bodies before they can even walk!12. Guitars.
Is this why I’m struggling to learn guitar? Right?
13. Snack Mix.
Gender-specific almonds and cashews are a thing of the future.
14. Charging Cables.
KA-BLING, KA-CHING!
15. Bread.
I wonder if it’ll go stale as fast as regular old men’s bread.
16. Earplugs.
Specifically designed to block out your husband’s annoying snoring at night!
17. Hemorrhoid Medicine.
I wonder what men’s preparation H wipes smell like–certainly not flowers!
18. Cake.
Finally, camouflage in girly colors!
19. Energy Drinks.
If Redbull gives you wings, I wonder what “her” gives you.
20. Weights.
Ugh finally, those black weights at the gym were so last season.
21. Pepper Spray.
Nothing says power like a bright pink can of pepper spray.
22. Office Supplies.
Perfect for stapling my pink, perfumed resume like Elle Woods.
23. Vegetables.
Diva salads with a little bit of attitude. Day made!
24. Laxatives.
But women don’t poop!
25. Lighters.
Finally, a lighter to go with my scented candles.
26. Umbrellas.
Because women should look like drowned rats in the rain, obviously.
27. Batteries.
10/10x they last longer than a man.
Originally published on Pizzabottle.
Feature image via Unsplash
