What It Feels Like Waiting To Be Hurt By Someone New

You know the start of a relationship where you are still kind of hanging on to the hurt of the last one? The last boy who chose the other girl over you is nothing like this one but you are still kind of looking for ways they match up. Still kind of looking for how this new relationship will hurt you. You’re waiting on him to hurt you just like the last guy did. That’s the feeling this poem is about. It’s the stuck feeling of being in between the end of something and the beginning of the next. Between the past and the future. And not really knowing what else to do besides wait.

I think I’m waiting

I think I’m waiting to be hurt by you.
It’s been a couple months now
and I think
I’m just waiting for you to do
whatever it is you’re gonna do.

Whatever it is
that’s going to cut me deep.
Whatever it is
that’s going to make me hate you.

I’m waiting for you to drop me
Waiting for you to wake up kiss me
and never come back.

I’m waiting for you to decide that I am
Too much.
Too crazy.
Too unattached.
Too self observed.

But you haven’t done it yet.
You haven’t done anything
like that yet.
You haven’t even shown signs
that you are going to.

And I honestly don’t know
what to do about that.
Do I do anything about that?

Photo by Allison Heine on Unsplash



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