“New year, new me”. That is the way my last 4 years have started, and even though I try to do my best to be a different girl, everything ends up being about you.
I start to work out, so I can finally have the body I’ve always wanted. I swear I’m doing it for myself, but at the end of the day when I get home and take a shower after that intense training routine that takes my breath away, I dream about our date and me wearing the black skin tight dress you’ve always liked.
I start reading new books, and I constantly tell myself that it’s because I want to learn and explore different worlds., But deep inside, all I want is to have a smart conversation with you, so you realize that I’m more than just my looks.
I try to update my social media every day and show to my family and friends a picture-perfect life, with all the fashion and fun included. I can’t complain of what I’ve achieved with my hard work, but all my heart craves is that you finally have the guts to come here, where I am, and share this journey with me.
I swear this year everything will be different. It won’t be about you, my dear. This time it’s going to be about me and about becoming the woman of my own dreams.
I got tired of waiting.
I got tired of half-ass texts.
I got tired of you being miles away, while I’m here just waiting for you to come.
I got tired of putting so much effort into this.
Now it’s time to leave, move on and explore a different world, one where you don’t belong.
I’m scared as hell about this new life.
It’s the first time in a while that I’ve decided…yes, decided, to be alone. It’s time to build myself up. Time to love myself in the ways I’ve never been able to before.
I’m not sure where life is going to take me.
I’m not sure how this year is going to end.
But I have faith and trust that I can.
Because this year, my love, won’t be about you…
This year will be about me.