To fall in love with two people at once is exhausting and can be defeating. It has been an emotional roller coaster trying to sort through my feelings, and figuring out if I made the right decision or not. The anxiety of getting caught has become unbearable for me, and I just figured that it is not worth it anymore. I read a quote somewhere that said if you love two people at the same time, choose the second because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second. Thing is, I had already chosen the first. Reconciling what you feel versus doing the right thing is probably one of the hardest things I’ve had experienced, but it is also one of the things that solidify my experience with being human. This poem is about me trying to fight everything I feel for the second. This poem also serves as an apology to the first.
Feelings Must Be Fought
It’s not worth getting caught.
Feelings must be fought.
How I brought myself into this war I cannot win.
Every waking feeling is a sin.
It’s a war I cannot win.
I feel bad because you’re rad.
And I’m mad at myself for making you feel sad.
But you’ve been had.
I’m glad that I met you.
But I’m not the same person I once was.
Because you broke me before.
And now I’ve cloaked up and covered up my heart.
Until I can’t feel it anymore.
Being with you is like bliss.
But I can’t forget the kiss that I miss.
How I wish I could tell you this.
They say the truth will set you free.
But it has been nothing but detrimental to me.
I try for you but the lightning strikes two.
Where will you be if I set you free?
I hope nowhere near misery.
I love you to death and I wish you well.
How I wish I could uncast this spell.
But feelings must be fought.
Because I cannot get caught.
In conclusion, we can’t win them all. Battling with our own emotions is something common among everyone, and no matter what, it is hard to make a decision that we think will be right. Even though our heart and brain tend to tell us something different, sometimes, our feelings must be fought.
Featured image via Cristian Newman on Unsplash