There are people in the world who are natural-born people-pleasers. While this character trait may seem like an excellent feature, it can actually be emotionally damaging to the individuals who have it. In fact, when people rely on the approval of others for their happiness, they are doomed to feel unsatisfied regularly. When we make decisions based on people-pleasing, we can end up harming our own lives because we are too busy worrying about others. Although it is absolutely fine to want to fit in and be liked by others, it becomes harmful when it’s something that you crave, and need to survive.
Being a people-pleaser is not something that we should take lightly. It can be stress-inducing and lead to severe emotional and mental issues if gone unresolved. Having constant stress and anxiety due to people-pleasing is not something that is natural. In fact, all the added stress and anxiety that comes with being a people-pleaser is quite simply self-inflicted. While it may seem impossible to remove this characteristic from your life, it is entirely possible. Here are just a few reasons that trying to please others is no longer serving you and why you should consider changing your perspective when it comes to seeking approval from others and focus more on loving yourself exactly as you are.
1. Learn To Love Yourself
It can be so easy to reject yourself when others seemingly reject you. Falling into a depression spiral is common in people who strive to please others without focusing on themselves. Falling out of love with yourself is a surefire way to be depressed. Instead, find ways to cultivate more self-love in your own life. By doing things that you actually enjoy, and by being who you are, you can instantly release all that negative energy that surrounds those who strive to please others on the regular.
2. People-Pleasers Are Seen As Less Trustworthy
Always agreeing with others or trying to always say the right things is exhausting. While well-intentioned, it often comes off as being insincere and not having your own opinions. The best part about living life and being a human is that we are all unique and individualistic. Being authentic is essential if you want real relationships. Therefore, sharing your true self in social situations is the only way you can cultivate genuine relationships with others.
3. Self-Confidence Is Key
Being a people-pleaser may come from a lack of self-esteem or confidence. As a result, it can be quite difficult for people-pleasers to cultivate their own opinions. However, choosing to form your own opinions can be a freeing experience for someone who is perpetually concerned about what others are thinking about them.
4. Learn To Be Authentic
Having relationships in your life is essential for a healthy social life. It doesn’t just mean that you need to have romantic relationships; having friendships and being close to your family is essential. As a result, the only way to develop deep connections with others is to be real. People-pleasers who are in their heads lack the ability to be authentic. This leads to having fewer friends which can lead to depression and other mental health issues. Therefore, being okay with the fact that you aren’t going to get along with everyone is a crucial step for any people-pleaser looking to evolve and change their perspective for the better.
5. Get Back To Hobbies And Interests That Make You Smile
Think back to a time when you just did something for yourself because it’s what you wanted to do. Not something you did because you thought it would make you look cool or because your boyfriend wanted you to. People-pleasers are notorious for losing themselves and avoiding the hobbies, passions, and interests that made them unique. Getting back to what you loved as a child is a fantastic way to get back to the hobbies and activities that you want to do for you.
6. Always Choose Yourself First
The most important person in your life is you. People-pleasers often forget that they are the sole person they have in this life. At the end of the day, the only person we ever need to please is ourselves.
7. Cure Yourself Of The Disease To Please
Learning to be the most authentic version of yourself, to stand up for yourself, to say no, is the only cure. Changing your perspective is essential if you want to finally set yourself free and be happy. However, on the journey, it’s important to remember to always be kind to yourself and know that this process will not be easy. These ingrained thoughts have been with you for a long time now. It will be hard work. But the results are so worth it.
In the end, it can be terribly easy to put the needs of others before our own. However, choosing to live life for ourselves is the only way we can reach true happiness and satisfaction!
Featured Image via Unsplash.