What Happens When A Carnivore Goes Vegan For A Week

As someone who eats Costco sized prosciutto by the package regularly, I understood my friends and family’s hesitations. Could I, Taylor, a self-identifying extreme carnivore, give up my primitive cravings for one whole week? To be a vegan for 7 days? 168 hours? Only time could tell. I tossed my Turkey Bites to the wind and prepare for the unknown.

Day 1:

I had an exam in the morning. I was fuelled by a Vega protein shake, but I couldn’t help but think that I could have concentrated better with a belly full of breakfast sausage. I was starving by 10:30 am.

Night 1:

Four bowls of rice noodles with marinara sauce later, I finally feel satiated. I end the night early even though I had two naps earlier that day. I wake up and make a salad. I feel like I am physically made of only nutrients. I am the goddess of health.

Day 2:

My early morning workout left me starving. I pan fry up two potatoes and fall back asleep until noon.

Night 2:

More pasta for dinner. Also avocado toast. A lot of avocado toast. I told everyone at work what I was doing so they could hold me accountable and not let me sneak a steak caesar salad for dinner. But now I was that person who kept talking about “being vegan.” A dark reality creeps in. I look in the mirror. Do I recognize myself?

“No” I whisper.

 

Day 3:

I wake up smelling bacon, but it is merely a hallucination.

Night 3:

Veggie burgers for dinner. I eat two. Being gluten free and vegan is causing a major conflict of interest. My interest? Taste.

Day 4:

The sun is bright. Too bright. Why do I feel hungover? A headache, yet no vodka the night before? NO THANKS!

Night 4:

More pasta. My work shift again leaves me starving and I eat an entire veggie sushi boat meant for a small family. Who knew cucumber rolls could be so satisfying?

Day 5:

I go to hot yoga. I snuggle a box of Honey Nut Cheerios for 10 minutes rejoicing in their gluten free and vegan-ness until I sadly remember honey is in fact, not vegan #savethebees.

Night 5:

I order Pad Thai from my usual place. It breaks my heart to order basic and NAWT deluxe Pad Thai. No mysterious squid bits for me to pick through. The woman on the phone recognizes my voice and can sense the distress in mine. She asks if I’m alright.

Day 6:

Wake up feeling okay. Eat two bananas with peanut butter. I smile.

Night 6:

Veggie burgers. I’ve started double stuffing them. Kinda like Oreos. Which are vegan, but not gluten free (RIP me). But you know what is fun, vegan margarine. I’ve been putting that shit everywhere. Also avocados, or as I call them; nature’s butter.

Day 7:

I make a stir fry for lunch. While I do love veggies, they taste much better with beef blood.

Night 7:

Fries for dinner. That is all.

I wait until 12:01 am and bust open my Costco prosciutto like a newborn baby ripped from the womb. At first, the cold smoked pig meat smell is overpowering, but I persevere. Five pieces in, it tastes like home. All in all, I found myself appreciating more wholesome and simple flavors found in veggie based cooking. While I was a lot hungrier than usual, and more bloated due to my excessive intake of carbs (my bad), I would actually maybe try it again. I found vegan and gluten free options hard to find in most restaurants and what I did find was honestly, pretty gross. But, eating vegan for the week did clear up my skin and gave me a larger appreciation for the plant-based movement. It’s hard to resist the food that is calling to you. For that, I can only applaud those following a plant-based diet. I see you, vegans. I see you.

Feature image via screengrab of Keeping Up With The Kardashians

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