More often than not, we get addicted to a certain kind of sadness – a broken heart, for example. Some of you might be enjoying the pain of being broken. You tortured yourself by listening to sad songs for days, crying by the window while it’s raining outside, or getting comfortable by tormenting your life that turned into black and white instead of multicolored. Then, you are searching for some ways to move on from the broken heart that you feel, while ironically, you are the one who keeps growing it within yourself.
Some people said that, in order to let go, you need to accept yourself first by feeling the pain of your broken heart. I agree that feeling the pain of a broken heart will help you to heal because it’s the part of accepting. However, at the end of the day, you need to detach yourself from the pain itself.
Sometimes, the reason it’s hard for you to let go has nothing to do with the person who got away. It has to do with you. You are enjoying the pain for too long until you don’t recognize that you almost lost yourself along the way. Feeling the pain of a broken heart is actually the only thing that you can do to heal, but you have to always remember that the pain will only last if you keep allowing it to exist in your mind. You need to learn how to live your life in a new way, not by harboring in the old. In other words, you have the control of your own pain. If you make the decision to move on and live your life happily, you will.
You have to remember that in order to heal the wounds, you need to stop touching them. Let the wounds dry by itself and give it a time for you to deal with the pain. It is the same with a broken heart;
the more you remember the memories, the longer it takes to move on.
You need to detach yourself from the flashbacks that you have at midnight after those painful breakups or rejections, the photographs of those people who left, or the feelings that you had for them. You need to know that it is not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow. Don’t let yourself become the victim of a broken heart for too long because moving on is a choice.
You have to be brave enough to burn the bridges to keep you away from crossing them. Don’t stalk those people on Facebook or other forms of social media. Unfollow or block their accounts, delete their numbers and selfies on your phone, and try not to listen to the songs that remind you of them. It sounds cruel, but I believe that it’s the only way for you to heal; you need to forget about them for a moment. Let the moment pass.
Instead of mourning their absences in your life, try to transform your sadness into a strong will to pursue your life goals. Try to shift your attention to those bucket lists you always want to do in your life; go skydiving, travel, meet new friends, and throw yourself outside your comfort zone. Make yourself busy with living your glorious life to the fullest until you forget that you actually have a broken heart. You have to make some new memories in order for you to bury the flashbacks you had with the ones who got away. Life your live the way you always wanted to, but recognize that you will have to do that solo.
I know that those things are easier said than done, but once you have a strong determination to do it. You can do it. Conceive in your mind that this time, maybe you are the one who is getting hurt, but in the meantime; you will realize that it is actually their loss, not yours.
At the right time, you will have the courage to accept them again if they are coming back to you, if you so choose. But for now, while you are feeling the pain of being rejected, it’s the best way for you to concentrate on your own life without their presence. Because most of the time, you need to always remember that the person you can’t live without, can live without you. And you can do it too.
Featured Image by Korinna Sebok.