Trigger Warning: This book mentions sexual assault, domestic violence, and generational trauma.
I received an advanced reader copy of Marina DelVecchio’s memoir, “Unsexed: Memoirs of a Prostitute’s Daughter.” This memoir explores DelVecchio’s adult life and relationships as the daughter of a prostitute. After reading, I had the pleasure to speak with DelVecchio herself. She delved further into her experience growing up in unsafe environments, sharing her story, and her aspirations.
I really admire how you shared your story in such a raw, real way. What led you to write “Unsexed?”
A friend just asked me this question as well. And the truth is, I am always vulnerable. I talk about the parts no one wants to talk about, but it doesn’t bother me. Someone has to say these things–in particular, exposing all the politics involved with women’s lives and their bodies.
Growing up, I spent much of my childhood and adolescence silenced by my adoptive mother; because of her, I lost my voice. I didn’t know how to stand up for myself or ask for what I needed. The only source of comfort I had growing up was books and the female writers who showed me it was okay to use my voice. I still find it difficult to speak up today–I often ramble and sound so impassioned that it scares people who mistake my passion for anger. . But when I write, my voice is raw, confident, and open.
What do you want to tell victim-survivors of sexual assault about reclaiming their lives?
To speak up, to rail, scream, and “howl” the way Allen Ginsberg did in his famous poem of the same name.s. As long as we stay quiet, keeping the pain and the injustices to ourselves, others will take advantage of us. . I urge all women to speak up, to tell the truth. As long as it stays inside us, it remains a secret–and this gives others the power to hurt us.
What projects are you currently working?
I just finished writing a book about a woman who visits her dying mother at the hospital and voices the way her mother hurt her. The mother is comatose and cannot hear her, but the story gives her space to recapture the history of their relationship. Although I am putting it out as fiction, it serves as a long letter to my adoptive mother, telling her everything I never dared to tell her.
You mentioned traveling to Greece in your memoir. Have you gone back since your initial few visits?
Yes! I took my children to Greece in 2019, the same year that I published my first book, “Dear Jane,” and just before I left my marriage. I wanted my siblings to meet my kids and vice versa. My brother flew to Athens from Crete with his wife, and we all had a little reunion. We toured the city, shopped, took lots of pictures, and had dinner with my cousins and their kids. Despite growing up alone, I have a big family in Greece. It was nice to have my kids see that they were also a part of my big family, not just their father’s. We hope to return soon!
What does your relationship with your own daughter, Rena, look like today?
Our relationship has its ups and downs, but mostly, it has become one that is built on love and trust. She knows I love her, trust her, and give her a lot of freedom because of it.
When she needs me, I am there for her. And when she needs space from me, I give it to her. It’s a dance of sorts–and a fragile one because of the divorce and traveling back and forth from one parent to another–so I am careful about what I say. But I make sure she knows that I am the safe parent she can always come to. My favorite moments are the ones when she’s not with me but comes to my house for lunch on school days. Unlike me growing up, she has a robust voice, a confident one that calls BS when she sees it, and I am grateful for that. It gives me comfort knowing that she is more than well-prepared for the world without me.
What do you think we should do to help for victim-survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and sex trafficking?
In all honesty, nothing will change for women and their experiences until we have more women in powerful political positions. We need more women in politics, the trailblazers willing to stand up for us more than they need their jobs or the power that comes with titles. As long as men continue to govern politics, they will never consider our rights as seriously as they are. And because of that, they will continue to favor male perpetrators over their female victim-survivors.
I am not saying we need all women in political positions. But we need men in the fight for equality, men with integrity and a focus on social consciousness and equity. We need more men who believe in women’s experiences and help us fight for justice against domestic violence, sexual assault, trafficking, and all issues that disproportionately affect us. t.
Where can readers find your book on July 16?
You can find “Unsexed” on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, and any local library or bookstore. If it’s not on the shelves, just ask for them to order it. And I thank you all for supporting my work and “reading” my voice!
Share your excitement with us about the release of “Unsexed” in the comments below!
Image via Wikimedia
