Why Calling Someone Your Best Friend Is More Than A Title 

The title of best friend means a lot to me, not for the reason you might think.

If I call you my best friend, I mean it wholeheartedly; it’s a term that I’ve always taken seriously. Am I the perfect example of a best friend all the time? No, in fact, last year, when I was visiting one of my besties, they told me that they were disappointed in me, that I wasn’t emotionally there for them when they needed me to be, and honestly, it was heartbreaking to hear, but it was also very true. You never want to disappoint someone, let alone a best friend. 

Ever since that hard conversation, I have been working hard to be there emotionally for my besties more when they need me to be, because that’s what it means to be a best friend. 

Why does ‘title’ mean so much to me?  

It matters to me because I know what it’s like to call someone my best friend and not be theirs, or to have a one-sided friendship where I put in a lot of the work and get little to nothing in return; it’s something that’s happened more than I’d like to admit.

 It took me years to find my best friends. I didn’t just pick them up off the street and say, “Yeah, these are my  people.” It took and still takes lots of work, commitment, communication, and consistency, something I have struggled with in the past.

When someone calls me their best friend, it means I belong in their life. It’s their way of saying  I want you here. I love you. I chose you, and for years I didn’t believe it; hell, I still don’t sometimes, and I need to be reminded.

It’s not just a title you throw around; it’s about showing up in your people’s lives when they ask you to, sometimes when they don’t ask you to, but you do it in the best way you can at the time. 

I think in society, we throw around the word “best friend” as just a title when it’s so much more than that. It’s about showing up for your besties and vice versa in the best way you can, for the big moments and the small moments. 

A real-life example for me is last year, a bestie of mine had a milestone birthday. She had a party planned, and it was the day after I got back from a trip. I had told her I would try to make it, and she understood if I couldn’t go. 

I decided to go.  I was jet-lagged and tired from getting back from my trip. But I still showed up. I didn’t stay for the entire party. But that didn’t matter; what mattered was that I showed up in the first place. 

Another example is one of my besties, who does roller derby; she is a badass at it. I have never seen her play, due to my schedule. But I show my support by following her team on social media and posting about it when I can. I’ll always support her in whatever way I can. 

Lastly, one of my besties is having a hard time mentally every day.  Recently, I have been checking in with them via text or phone call to make sure they are okay, that they know I am here, and that they are loved.

There are so many ways to show your best friends that you are their best friend Being a best friend is not a title; it takes effort, commitment, and everything in between, and sometimes it will not be easy, but if you want that tittle you have to actually put effort into the friendship. Being a best friend is not just about having that title; what matters most is choosing people who choose you and love you,  and knowing that you belong in these people’s lives, and working hard to maintain it. 

 I think once people really do that in their friendships, they will start to understand and grasp that the people who choose you are the ones who matter, not the ones who don’t.

Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash