Home Adulting What I’ve Learned From Being In Therapy For 10 Years

What I’ve Learned From Being In Therapy For 10 Years

I’m a firm advocate for seeking professional help, and that friend who genuinely lights up whenever someone tells me they’ve started seeing a therapist. Anyone can benefit from it. After all, who’s perfect anyway? As someone who’s benefited from therapy since the age of fifteen, I’ve picked up a few valuable life lessons along the way.

1. Identify Your Support System

We all have someone in our lives who lifts us. Someone we can turn to when we need them the most.  Who is that person for you? Is it your best friend? Your partner? Your mom? Who can you turn to when you’re feeling alone – someone who will listen without judgment? While your therapist is your source of professional support, it’s just as important to have people in your everyday life who can show up for you, too.

2. Find What Makes You Tick

I had a therapist point out that I was always happier when I was social rather than fully hermiting. Isolation, it turns out, is a big no for me – but it may be what you need to rest and recharge. Therapy is a powerful tool for learning what works for you: which habits serve you, which don’t, and which ones you can adjust to better fit your goals.

3. Exercise is Essential

Even in my first few sessions, my therapist stressed: “Exercise is important for everyone, but for anyone dealing with mental health challenges, it’s essential.” I’m sure you’re familiar with the benefits – endorphins, mood regulation, and stress relief – but more recent studies suggest that exercise can offer benefits comparable to, and sometimes greater than, medication for depressive symptoms. Movement doesn’t have to be extreme; simply incorporating it into your routine can be an excellent tool for supporting your mental health.

4. Ask Yourself: Are You Surviving or Living? 

“Do you want to die?” No.

“But do you want to live?”

This distinction never crossed my mind until I was asked these questions during a particularly difficult period in my life – and it’s stuck with me ever since. I realized I had become very good at surviving, but I needed to work on actually wanting to live. I wanted to include this because, so often in depression treatment, we focus solely on the former – and I did too, for a long time. 

This shift changed the way I approached my therapy goals for the better. If you’re feeling stagnant in your mental health journey, a different perspective might be the nudge you need.

5. You Are Not Your Negative Thoughts

I’ve spent a lot of time believing I was a bad person because of my negative thoughts – envy towards my friends, anger towards myself. A recent breakthrough came when my therapist reminded me that your brain, like any other organ, has a primary job: firing neurons and generating thoughts. Sometimes, it produces thoughts that don’t align with who you are or how you show up in the world.

The task at hand, then, is learning just to be an observer of those thoughts, let them pass, and understand they are not a reflection of your character.

Therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all, but I hope some of this resonates with you. Learning what works for you is definitely a process, but the journey can bring you closer to a better understanding of yourself. If you’ve been waiting for a sign, consider this a reminder that support is available and you don’t have to navigate your struggles alone.

Featured image via Ashley Batz on Unsplash

2 COMMENTS

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