Many modern Catholics struggle to keep their faith. The media makes this especially hard when we see firsthand the horrible things happening around the world. We must remember that He is not responsible for bad people or the choices they make. We are each created with purpose.
Here is the poem: Red like War
I had a dream where God spoke to me
Through the stained glass of an empty church-
With desperate eyes staring to the heavens, I asked
“Pa, ¿por qué mis manos están tan pesadas?
Like bulls pulling my arms
Mis nudillos sore
scraping against the gravel
Mis palmas- Pa, why must they be dirtied
by hot red patches?”
The Lord said,
I made you this way.
And that wasn’t a good enough answer
“Pa- the devil tempts me
Fogs my vision with glory
‘Muéstrame cómo el fuego quema el alma’
He shotguns my wrath and licks it
Off his lips with forked tongue
Pa please, shield me, y dame
une fraction/of goodness”
My son. I made you this way.
“My veins glow and itch
I’d slam my wrist into a blender
Just to un-nail my hands and quiet
The raging storm of my eyes
Quiero lloror- Pa
I just want to be a good son”
You are.
“Then why
What would you gain, Pa
Dousing my blood with gasoline
Like a machine- my battery is burnt crisp
Yah- apaga mi bateria”
I made you with purpose.
“Then fuck you!
Pa- I’m so tired
Quiero descansar
Dime- tell me
How could you make me
Love me like this?”
Está en tu sangre.
My son, you were the only one strong enough.
Red has always been your color.
We often grow angry and take that anger out in ways we shouldn’t. Sometimes we have fates forced upon us. Some people are born to be fighters, and some don’t have a choice. Some people are born writers, and some struggle to find the right words. Trust in who you are becoming, and become the best you can. This is how simple people become extraordinary.
Featured image via Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash
