I was on TikTok the other day when I saw someone say, “If I’m still fighting with you, it means I care and want this to work. If I go quiet, that means I’ve given up and the relationship is done.”
That really struck a chord with me, because for me, it’s the truth. Whenever I’m in a relationship with someone, I fight to the ends of the earth to keep it. I try to talk through every issue, to sort things out, and I’ve said to my friends before, “Okay, what is going on? Why are you being weird? I don’t like this, and we need to figure it out.” Usually, we do.
I have no problem addressing issues head-on because no one is perfect. Every friendship and relationship comes with its own challenges. If you truly care about the relationship, you’ll speak up—even when it’s hard.
But sometimes, effort just isn’t enough.
You can tell someone repeatedly when something is bothering you, or when there’s an issue in the relationship. But if the other person isn’t willing to see their part or make a change, things can’t get better.
A person can only give so much before it feels like they’re watering a dead plant. They might try, with every ounce of strength, to save what’s left. But eventually, there comes a moment when you realize it’s no longer worth fighting for.
And as heartbreaking as it feels, sometimes walking away is what’s best for both you and the other person.
I’ve found myself muting notifications, blocking people, and deleting numbers from my phone, simply because I’ve reached the point where I’ve given up on a relationship or friendship.
It’s not that I don’t care or love the person anymore—I do. I have so much love in my heart for them that I don’t think I could ever stop caring. However, there comes a point when you have to let go and move on.
The person has shown you who they truly are, despite the story you’d made up in your head about them or the version of themselves they presented at first.
Sometimes the mask falls, and instead of the fantasy you believed or the rose-colored glasses you wore, you see jealousy, manipulation, disrespect, or narcissism.
No matter how much you love someone, you have to love yourself more. You have to step back and prioritize your well-being.
You don’t hate them—you just see them clearly. And sometimes, it’s not the end of the relationship that hurts the most—it’s realizing that the person wasn’t who they said they were from the beginning. That’s the hardest part.
So just remember: if I’m still arguing with you, being a pain in the ass, and trying to make this work, it’s because I care, and I’m still here.
But if I disappear or go silent, that’s when you should be concerned. Because you just lost someone who would always root for you. And that, babe, is a big loss.
Featured image via Atlantic Ambience on Pexels
