I’m the child of a married couple. My parents have been married for my whole life, and I’m grateful that both of my parents play a significant role in my life. At the same time, I now realize that my parents’ relationship paved the way for how I view relationships, which has both benefits and downsides.
In my family, almost everyone has consistently been with their significant others since they were teenagers. I grew up listening to relatives arguing sometimes, but I also saw them fall more deeply in love over time.
My parents’ relationship in particular taught me that love is sometimes worth fighting for.
I’m only 20 years old, so my view of relationships is still evolving. Sometimes when I talk to someone new and show interest in them, I ask myself if my romantic feelings are real or if I want them to be real.
I often see TikTok videos of people sharing “story times” about how they found out that their partners were cheating on them. I also see plenty of videos of women posting beautiful flower bouquets that their boyfriends gave them on random Thursday evenings.
It’s safe to say that we shouldn’t watch these types of videos and assume that our partners will cheat or expect that they’ll always make grand romantic gestures. Real life is different from social media, and you shouldn’t give up on your relationship just because it’s not like the ones that you see on your “For You” page.
It’s good to have real-life couples to look up to, and I’m glad that I have my parents as an example.
Due to my parents’ relationship, though, I always feel pressure to try to make relationships work.
I hate giving up on people — I’d rather try to understand them than walk away when they hurt me. It hurts me to give up on people, and I always try to understand why they are the way that they are — even if they hurt me. I know that my tendency to see the good in people can cloud my judgment. Still, I understand that some relationships aren’t worth fighting for, especially if they become harmful. I have to get better at letting go, even though I’ve seen my parents happily stand by each other for my entire life.
Seeing my parents in a happy, healthy marriage has helped me, but I’m still learning which “love lessons” I want to bring into my dating life. I now know that people fall in love on their own timelines and that I don’t want to rely on social media to show what a “perfect” relationship should look like. But I also want to remember that even though my parents have a happy, lasting marriage, I don’t have to make my relationships last if they hurt me. As I grow, I’m making my own blueprint for the love that I deserve.
Featured Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash.
Ik herken veel van wat je schrijft over hoe je opvoeding je kijk op relaties beïnvloedt. Soms voelt het alsof je verwachtingen gevormd worden door wat je hebt meegemaakt, maar dat betekent niet dat je daar aan vastzit. Voor mij was het juist belangrijk om even afstand te nemen en iets te vinden wat me echt afleidde en hielp ontspannen. Zo ontdekte ik billionairespin , waar ze speciale bonussen bieden voor spelers uit België. Het spelen van een paar simpele spellen hielp me om even los te komen van piekergedachten en nieuwe energie op te doen. Soms is dat precies wat je nodig hebt om met frisse moed aan jezelf te werken.