We’ve all been through them — the heartbreaks from hell. The ones where you bury your head in a pillow, lie on the couch for days and decide that you’re proud that you actually made it out of your bedroom.
You weep for a while, spend several hours texting your friends about what a moron he is, and maybe even have a moment of laughter as you create your maniacal plan of how to sleep with his best friend.
The big question is — are you recovering from this breakup in the healthiest way possible?
Here are some real-life situations and advice on how to get over heartbreak that might seem weird but will actually help you feel much better during this traumatic life experience:
1. Say “See ya!” and get away for awhile.
Leave the familiar and get away for a while. You’ll gain some new perspective on yourself and the relationship. Go somewhere you have always dreamed about and decide whether going alone or with another person will be best for you.
Take it up a notch and ask someone at home to remove his pictures and other personal items from your space so you arrive back to your new boyfriend-free zone.
Tia went to visit some good friends at the beach and came home to her clean, fresh apartment, walls painted, furniture rearranged and no sign anywhere that her ex ever existed. She loved her new fresh start and her family and friends for doing it.
Tip: make sure they know your home décor preferences and tastes or you’ll be painting all over again.
2. Pamper yourself into a new woman.
What makes you feel beautiful? Do something luxurious like a spa day or warm bubble bath with a little bubbly (champagne) to go along with it. Think of what makes you sexy and get your head and heart into it.
Alexa read a dirty romance novel and it reminded her that she’s a woman filled with love and passion. She realized that love will come along again when the timing is right and to just enjoy life moment by moment.
She even took it a step further and began flirting with men just a bit to help her realize that new relationship journeys were ahead. She is now with the love of her life and having a baby!
3. Declutter your whole life.
De-cluttering your life is great after a breakup along with other additional benefits. According to Happify, there are several good reasons to de-clutter such as: reducing stress, giving to others who need your stuff, stimulating creativity, decreasing dust, and helping your breath better as well as increasing your brain focus.
My cousin Linda always re-arranged her shoes in her closet because it made her feel better after her relationships went astray.
You may still be dealing with the sadness but your mood will be enhanced when you realize now that you can wear that $100 sweater you thought you lost and treat your friends to a latte with that $20 bill you found in your jacket pocket.
4. Hit the delete button.
This might be one of your biggest challenges — removing him from social media. You tell yourself you still love him and those feelings just don’t disappear overnight and that he might still have some of your things and you want them back. The truth is, you’re just hanging on to the past and if you really need to speak to him, there’s always a way.
You are vulnerable and too tempted right now so let him go. Seeing what he’s doing every minute will just add to the torture you’re already feeling. Remember, it’s time to concentrate on your healing, your beauty, and your self-love.
It’s not the time to be on Instagram looking at a picture of him standing next to some girl that you’re going to wonder about and then have a sleepless night over it. You know I’m right!
5. Focus on what inspires you.
Think of your passions and act on them (short of calling all of his friends and letting them know that he sucks — please resist!)
Maybe you want to work, read a great book or cut off your hair like one of my friend’s did. That may be a bit impulsive so be careful, you just may be out shopping for a new wig.
What have you always wanted to do? Here’s a little test to help you bring out your interests. There’s nothing better than doing something you love to help you get out of a funk and concentrate on your own personal growth. Who knows, maybe you’ll find your next BF at one of your activities!
6. Escape to a fantasy world.
Daydreaming can be a very healthy way to imagine life as you want it to be. Visualize yourself being happy — maybe even with another person — participating in life’s activities and make it specific to your own desires.
According to Scientific American, “Daydreaming can help solve problems, trigger creativity, and inspire great works of art and science. It can help us devise creative solutions to problems or prompt us, while immersed in one task, with reminders of other important goals.”
We must also be aware that we can take it too far.
“When it becomes compulsive, however, the consequences can be dire. When daydreaming turns addictive and compulsive, it can overwhelm normal functioning, impeding relationships and work.”
Only perform this activity if you’re in the proper mindset. If you find yourself thinking about “him” constantly, this is not for you.
7. Put your love in all the right places.
One of the most challenging parts of your heartbreak is loneliness. You have so much love in your heart so now where is it supposed to go. To those who deserve it, that’s who.
Focus on loving creatures such as pets as they will let you love on them all day. Give lots of hugs to the good people in your life like family and friends and tell them how you feel about them.
The more love you put into the world, the more that will come back to you in lots of ways, including your next amazing partner.
8. Be brave and re-create your memories without the ex.
Go back to the places you used to visit together and create a new memory. Go with someone else and do something different to create an even more enjoyable experience. While you’re at it, explore new activities, eat foods you’ve never tasted, try a new sport, do whatever it takes to freshen life up, according to Paired Life.
Can you imagine never having that delectable pastry or shopping at your favorite shoe store because you were there together in the past—no way, you can’t allow him to take your life from you. Move forward, strong soul.
9. Celebrate your breakup.
Life’s too short to be wasting too much time on someone that won’t be in your life for the long term anyway. After the initial grief is over, throw yourself a party with decorations and all the trimmings. You deserve it — you’ve been through so much.
Make it a celebration of self-love honoring your perseverance, strength and the new woman you’re becoming.
Originally written by Lori Peters on YourTango
Photo by Jason Briscoe on Unsplash