What Is Self-Compassion? How To Be Kinder To Yourself

Self-compassion is a vital part of feeling purposeful, well, and happy.

You may be thinking, “That’s great, but what is self-compassion and why is it important?”

By understanding self-compassion, you can begin applying certain strategies in your life that will not only make you kinder towards yourself but will also help you love yourself.

Self-compassion is the ability to view yourself as an inherently flawed human being. It is when you can talk to yourself with the same voice you would use with a friend.

When you can view what you are doing, how you look, and your actions with patience, understanding, and loving energy, then that is self-compassion.

But most people end up comparing themselves to others and feeling inadequate. Comparison never gives us the full picture of anyone’s life. Comparison can come in the form of career, body image, relationships, your home, kids, or any other aspect of your life.

We can be our harshest critics. We wouldn’t dream of saying the things we say to ourselves to others.

So, be honest about your self-talk: What are the things you think or say to yourself daily? What do you say to yourself when you are looking in the mirror or comparing your life to others?

Do you work hard trying to prove your self-worth? Do you wait till you are done with your work to allow yourself to engage in self-care such as eating, or resting?

What would happen if you showed yourself kindness, acknowledged you who you are, and didn’t have to justify self-care?

If you are asking yourself how you can improve your self-compassion and love yourself more, here are 2 important steps. 

1. Notice your current level of self-compassion.

Pay attention to how you speak to yourself. Do you compare yourself to others, and if so, how? Are you withholding self-care unless you have “earned it”?

Start tracking these questions one at a time, working on each individually.

Pick the one that is easiest for you to track first. Write it down. After a week, take a good look at what is happening.

2. Choose differently.

How would you like to speak to yourself, compare, or take care of yourself? What would take to feel like you are worth the effort?

Start implementing this in your life. If you are working on your self-talk, maybe put up notes around your house with the new things you want to say.

Write out how you want to talk to yourself in the morning or before going to bed at night.

Take the time to shift your self-compassion. Then, notice how you feel.

Do you feel calmer, more content, less critical, or irritable? Do you think just better? Keep at it; move to the next way you don’t show yourself compassion.

Remember that you are worth it!

Another vital part of self-compassion is your ability to see the things that you are good at. Focus on what you have accomplished and how you contribute every day to the world.

It is easy to try to look at the big things that we do and wait till we reach those goals to feel a sense of purpose.

The reality is that you can feel purposeful every day. Every time you show yourself or someone else kindness, love, or generosity, you are contributing to the world.

Acknowledge what you do every day to contribute to the world.

Your inherent strengths and who you are as a person is on purpose. If you believe in a higher power, then you can acknowledge that you were made this way on purpose.

You are divinely created.

With this energy, write out what makes you unique, what your strengths are, and your gratitude for those aspects of yourself. As you look at what you already do and who you are, your self-compassion and self-esteem will improve.

We all have the ability to improve ourselves. The danger in focusing only on how we can be better is that we lose the focus on what we already have, and all that we are.

Focusing on what we do have is especially important as an empath. Since empaths feel emotions at a deeper level, you can feel the negative self-talk or the comparison at a deep level. The good news is that you can also feel good things deeply.

Don’t allow yourself to dim your own light. Acknowledge who you are and how you are created by the Divine on purpose.

Your empathy contributes to the world in a way that others can’t. I see you and I want to acknowledge that you are unique and amazing.

Improving your self-compassion may take some inner work. By looking at how you compare yourself to others, your self-talk, self-care, you as a Divine creation, and all that you accomplish, you can improve your self-compassion.

With improved self-compassion, imagine how much better you could feel every day? How would that impact your life?

Originally written by Kavita Melwani on YourTango

Photo by Eternal Happiness from Pexels


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