I’m here to praise you for all the things you’re doing right!
As a dating coach for women over 40, I want you to know (and celebrate) when you’re on the right path to finding love. My job is making dating easier, so you can meet “The One” faster and with less frustration.
Some women loathe dating and resist it (and complain about it) every step of the way. But some of you embrace the process beautifully! Here are the seven signs that you handle the dating process well (And if you’re not great at it quite yet, here are the seven goals to aim for):
1. You have a great, optimistic attitude about finding love.
First, let me praise you for your positive outlook about dating, men and love. Yes, there are a few bad apples out there in the “singleverse”, but your optimistic perspective keeps you mingling and on track to find “The One.”
Instead of succumbing to man-bashing with your gal pals over drinks, you’d rather focus on the good men you meet and look for more opportunities. Your positivity and enthusiasm are winning (and attractive) qualities that serve you well in life, too.
2. You understand that dating is a numbers game.
You realize that you have to “kiss a lot of frogs” before you find your prince.
There is no question — dating is a numbers game, and you must meet as many men as possible to find a great match. This is a simple reality which you understand, so you have an easier time than other women who have met only five guys during the year and get frustrated because they can’t find a good man.
3. Your expectations about dating are realistic.
You’re savvy enough to know that one good date does not automatically mean you’re starting a wonderful relationship. With realistic expectations, you wait and see if he calls again and whether he continually makes time to see you. Nothing is a given when it comes to dating someone new.
It takes time to get to know a man, and you have enough dating wisdom to avoid falling in love too fast or getting your hopes up too high for any man early in the dating journey. You are clear that a man needs to prove himself, which can take six to 12 dates before you know for sure he’s worthy (and a good match).
You watch for consistency in his behavior. Continuing to pursue you, excellent follow up, and alignment between what he says and what he does are all part of your vetting process. Otherwise, you cut your losses to seek better prospects.
4. You actually enjoy meeting men and going on dates.
This is one of your best qualities! You enjoy getting to know men and take the interaction for what it is. You might see him once, five times, or marry him, but you’re capable of enjoying the moment versus projecting into the future.
Mastering this ability gives you an amazing advantage, as opposed to other women who don’t enjoy (and even resent) dating. They would rather meet the one on the first try and stop all this dating stuff as fast as possible, which makes dating tedious for them (and for the men they go out with).
When you take the pressure off each first date and simply have fun meeting new men, you can relax, laugh at his jokes, have a great conversation, or learn something new, all of which have value on their own.
5. You know how to stay upbeat when things don’t work out.
Women who rock at dating don’t waste time falling apart when a new man disappears after a few dates. Even if you feel disappointed, you don’t collapse into a Ben and Jerry’s binge just because he didn’t call again.
You naturally take solace in the idea that the right man wouldn’t disappear, which means he was clearly the wrong guy. You also know there are plenty more men and the right one for you is still out there.
This dating wisdom is similar to self-coaching and your positive inner chatter keeps you feeling optimistic. You know how to shift the focus from the disappointment in one man to consider who might be next! I always say: Every man you meet brings you one man closer to the right one for you.
6. You score a lot of second dates.
You know you rock at dating when you’re asked out for second and third dates often. Sometimes you can have a great time and not get called for a second date, but mostly, men want to see you again.
Bingo! That’s a surefire sign you’re making a good first impression and that you’re fun to hang out with, which appeals to a man’s masculine energy, so he wants more of your femininity.
7. You keep your options open until you agree to exclusivity.
Unlike most women, you wisely date more than one man at a time because you never know who will ask you out again. During the initial ‘get to know you’ phase, you keep your options open and continue meeting men, so you don’t fall in love before you know he’s the right one.
Once you determine a man has true long-term potential, then (and only then) do you discuss exclusivity before you stop dating others.
Congratulations! You’re a true master at dating with grace and a great attitude.
How awesome is it to know you rock at dating and are on the path to find the love you want! I applaud you for the wisdom you apply to your dating journey and know without a doubt you will find the right man very soon.