Relationships are all about emotions. But when they are manipulated and abused, the fallout influences the rest of your life. Being in an emotionally abusive relationship can quickly create anxiety, depression, stress, insomnia, resentment, broken friendships, and family ties.
Over time, having been a domestic abuse victim can easily contribute to lost jobs, money issues, health challenges, and emotional baggage you drag into your future.
An emotionally abusive relationship can exist between friends, coworkers, family members, etc., and the abuser can be male or female. For the purposes of this article, we’ll use the example of a heterosexual couple, with the woman asking the questions.
Here are 10 questions to ask yourself if you think might be in an emotionally abusive relationship.
1. Do I feel emotionally healthy as a single woman?
Do you feel good about yourself and handle stress, friendships, and work as well as you want to when you are single?
Or do you feel like you truly need support from someone else to manage life’s challenges?
Either answer is fine, as the purpose of the question is to gain clarity and context for examining your relationship.
2. What do I ultimately WANT in a relationship?
Do you want to feel happy and self-respected in a relationship? Are you willing to let go of unhealthy people when that doesn’t happen?
Or are you looking for someone to “complete you” because you only feel happy when you are part of a couple?
3. How do I feel about MYSELF when I’m with him?
It’s not how you feel about him or the relationship, it’s all about how YOU feel about YOU, because your self-confidence, self-respect, and self-image make up your self-esteem.
Do you feel strong, confident, appreciated, respected, and loved?
Or do you feel weak, stupid, blamed, sad, disrespected, and/or afraid?
4. Am I afraid to share my feelings with him?
Do you feel seen, heard, nurtured, and cherished when you tell him how you feel?
Or do you feel afraid, rejected, guilty, or blamed when you do?
Living in a vacuum destroys self-esteem. You are half of this couple and your feelings are just as important as his. Physical abuse is almost always preceded by verbal and emotional abuse in the progression of domestic violence.
5. Do I have uninterrupted time with my friends and family?
Does he trust and encourage you to have fun with your people and enjoy hearing about it afterward?
Or does he keep you so busy you have no time left for them?
Does he guilt you into isolation or call and text constantly, wanting to always be kept updated when you are not with him?
Emotionally abusive relationships can exist between friends, coworkers, family members, etc., and the abuser can be male or female. For the purposes of this article, we’ll use the example of a heterosexual couple, with the woman asking the questions.