Raise your hand if, just like me, you dread going to your 9 to 5.
One thing I’ve learned as a millennial in the workplace is that you’ll encounter a litany of human beings that are like no one you’ve ever met before. These strangers are all unique with their clearly-defined character traits.
As your personal Human Resources Manager, let me break down the types of people you’ll meet in your job.
The Office Gossiper
Like Kelly Kapoor, the office gossip CAN NOT BE TRUSTED.
Like sour patch kids, they can be sweet but sour at the same time. They thrive on drama, paranoia, and they love to be the center of attention.
Keep one eye open at all times and remember that they prey on harmful information.
The Office Suck-Up
Remember that one kid in school who always had to answer the question first and pretend as if everyone else was dumb as rocks? Well, that person grew up to be the person in the office you truly can’t stand.
Whether they spend their day looking down on everyone or running to your boss every time they feel someone isn’t carrying their weight, they’re being obnoxious.
To be honest, this is how I feel about the office suck-up:
The Office Mom
Every office always has that one employee who likes to mother their coworkers.
Instead of treating their coworkers as equals, they treat them like children, and it can be smothering at times.. While you appreciate all that they do, sometimes you wish they’d simply go away.
The only upside to the office mom is that they’re always feeding you. You will never ever go hungry with a ‘mom’ in the office.
The Office Dud
How many times have you looked at the person in your office who seems to serve no purpose? Countless times probably.
The problem with the office dud is that while they’re usually fun loving and have a great personality, they really bring no substance to the team.
Love ‘em or hate ‘em, but they exist for your entertainment and to be gawked at and shit talked about over G-Chat.
The Boss From Hell
In my many years of office purgatory, I’ve found that it’s always the boss from hell that truly makes my job intolerable.
Is your boss the type of person that gets under your skin and makes you think about having a drink at 11 am?
Your boss should not be your enemy, but somehow it feels like they have it out for you. When you start your job, you hope that your boss will be there to lift you up and support you.
Instead, all you want to do is burn the place to the ground and make a dramatic exit.
At the end of the day, while your boss may allow you to pay your bills, don’t let them be a hater or bring toxic energy into your life. You’re better than that.
My advice to you all is to find the humor in the humans that you share a communal workspace with every day. Find the Cristina Yang to your Meredith Grey. The Jim to your Pam. Or whoever is your spirit animal!
Let me know what other characters you have in your office in the comments below!
Feature image via NBC The Office