The Stages Of Feeling Too Old At The Club As Told By Jersey Shore

The season two trailer of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation premiered last week and the hype is as escalated as one of Vinnie’s elaborate fist pumps. While the first season of the series spin off was as lovable as the original series, it reminded me a lot of my friends and I when we occasionally go out these days.

Don’t believe me? Allow the cast to explain a typical night out when you feel like you’re too old to party.

It all begins when your friend urges you to go out for the first time in a long time…

Are You Kidding Me Pauly D GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

Then you think, “but, we’re old…” because, well, you are in fact getting old.

Jersey Shore Wait GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

But then the idea warms up to you and you feel up to the challenge…

Season 1 Im Still A Meatball GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

And, on the day of, the whole crew is waiting for each member of the squad to show up like…

Jersey Shore GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

To celebrate the rare occasion, you grab your old school favourite alcoholic beverage, knowing it’s about to cause you to do some bad things.

Mtv Premiere GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

And… the pre-drinking begins!

Jersey Shore Episode 10 GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

Getting dressed to go out is a little rough because you don’t know what cool kids these days wear…

Mtv Premiere GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

You aren’t exactly “on trend” anymore.

Jersey Shore GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

But, you figure it out eventually.

Mtv Premiere GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

The pre-gaming is starting to take too long, and it’s now past your bedtime and you haven’t even left yet!

Episode 11 Waiting GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

So when it’s time to finally leave…

Mtv Cabs Are Here GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

But not before taking a group shot first.

Drunk Nicole Polizzi GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

And, remembering to spray yourself so you don’t smell like dirty club and sweat all night!

Jersey Shore Perfume GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

On the car ride over, it hits you…

Jersey Shore This Is Going To Be A Long Night GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

Nothing beats the feeling of walking into the club for the first time in what feels like eternity because it feels like everything’s changed.

Mtv Premiere GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

And what is the first thing you do when you go back to your old ways? SHOTS!

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Then it hits you… You’ve had like two drinks and you’re already done. Your tolerance definitely isn’t the way it used to be.

Drunk Pauly D GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

And now you’re finally happy to be here instead of feeling like an old person rising from the dead to relive your youth!

Partying Season 1 GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

And you can still keep up with that sexual dancing that kids these days do!

Mtv Premiere GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

Meeting drunk girls in the bathroom hasn’t changed and you still feel the need to hype her.

Nicole Polizzi GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

At some point in the night one of your friends runs into an ex who absolutely destroys them…

Episode 12 Waving Hi GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

But that’s okay, we have an easy solution to fix that.

Jersey Shore GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

And, of course, with seeing so many young and immature people, you make this face to your friends at least a dozen times in the first hour.

Jersey Shore GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

You spend plenty of time insulting them too.

Pauly D Vinny GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

You’ll start seeing some young and creepy guys coming at your friend, so you have to intervene.

Jersey Shore GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

You realize you’re old and broke when you look on the ground, find money, and actually rush to pick it up!

Jersey Shore GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

And while you’re having a great time with the group, you realize you lost someone along the way, and when you find them you learn they were getting drinks from randoms…

Drunk Jersey Shore GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

You get jealous and impressed, so you have to keep up too. A lot of drinks start getting ordered.

Pauly D Drinking GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

As a result, really messed up stuff starts going on and you just watch from a distance in shock but slight amusement.

Jersey Shore GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

Then you start noticing some random peoples’ drama and you become so invested.

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And you already know…

Episode 2 GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

Then they randomly leave, leaving you disappointed and on edge about what will happen next in their dramatic night.

Episode 2 GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

You slowly start to realize you’re becoming sloppy…

Pauly D Dancing GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

And you and your friends start getting really weird.

Jersey Shore Episode 10 GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

One is even dirty dancing with a boy who could possibly be young enough that she could go to jail for sinning like this.

Jersey Shore GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

Another is even behind the bar or taking drinks from other people.

Episode 11 Boozing GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

And your dancing has become a sight for sore eyes…

Vinny Guadagnino Dancing GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

But you don’t even care that you feel like a dinosaur because you’re finally drunk enough to have fun without feeling judged.

Partying Jersey Shore GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

And just when you finally start feeling good, some little kid (who probably has a fake ID to get into this place) makes a comment, saying you’re too old to be here. So, now you’re gonna show him how it’s done.

Jersey Shore Degenerate GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

And… order more drinks!

Jersey Shore GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

And, for the millionth time, you reminisce on the times you had when you were their age. You laugh about how you used to be the dumb idiots you were just making fun of.

Episode 11 Lol GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

And these kids really start to annoy the heck out of you because they’re so irresponsible and stupid!

Episode 2 I Love Animals GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

And then you realize you’re just done with the night. It’s time to get the hell out of here.

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So, you grab your friends and force them out of this hell hole.

Jersey Shore Episode 10 GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

Getting into the cab to go home has never felt so good and it’s waaayyyyy past your bedtime.

Episode 11 Recline GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

Getting home may be a little rough, but somehow you make it.

Jersey Shore GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

You get in your jammies and prepare yourselves a drunken feast…

Jersey Shore GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

The whole night hits you: you just can’t party hard like you used to.

Mtv Premiere GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

And then you start doing weird things again because you’re too wild to go to bed.

Nicole Polizzi GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

As a matter of fact, you’re just functioning… And you don’t know how.

Episode 9 Vinny GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

But you can’t stop thinking about how tired you’re going to be in the morning.

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And, boy, when you wake up in the morning…. You are dead!

Jersey Shore Episode 10 GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation - Find & Share on GIPHY

And full of regret. Lots of regret.

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But, looking back, you’re actually happy you went because you did have a great time.

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And you realize you still got it.

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Who cares if you’re older than the crowd or feel like you could be these people’s parents? You’re only young once, go out and do what makes you happy! You’ll only regret that night for however long you’re sick for the next day. The memories will last a lot longer than the hangover will!

Feature Image by sarah.borgese.wedding via Instagram

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