How To Pretend Like You Know Football For The Super Bowl

Super Bowl Sunday is right around the corner and millions of Americans are getting ready to watch the Eagles go head-to-head with the Patriots. Football fans couldn’t be more excited for their holy Sunday game. However, for those of us who don’t understand anything about football, this is the one day a year that avid football fans give us the most crap. To avoid the eye rolls and the awkward comments made about you lacking football intelligence, follow these 5 steps.

Choose a team to follow

Yes. It is that simple. Google beforehand which two teams are playing. During the 2018 Super Bowl, you can either choose to cheer for the Eagles from Philadelphia or the Patriots from Boston. You don’t have to choose a favorite team based on their stats. Just choose the team you like the most (for whatever reason that may be). And if someone happens to ask you why you’re cheering for a certain team, you can simply reply with, “I like the way they play.”

Know some of the lingo

Football can be very confusing. Don’t sit down and try to learn every single rule for one game. Your brain will explode with information and you’ll inevitably end up saying the wrong thing. In order to save you from that embarrassment, here are four key football terms to know.

  • End Zone: The place at the end of each side of the field where each team can score.
  • Touchdown: A six-point score made by carrying or passing the football into the end zone of the opposing side.
  • First Down: If the team gains 10 yards, then the downs start over. If they don’t gain 10 yards, after the fourth try, the opposing team gets possession of the football at the spot of the tackle. Each down is called by its name or number: First, second, third, and fourth down.
  • Field Goal: To score a field goal the team in possession of the ball must kick the ball through the U shaped goal at the end of the field. A team will either get one point or three points for a field goal.
  • Interception: When the opposing team catches the ball.

Get to know at least one of the players

If you’ve decided to cheer for the Eagles, you should get to know Nick Foles, the Eagles quarterback. Or in other words, the guy who throws the football and says “hike”.  He is also number 9. You can look out for him on the screen and make occasional comments about how he is playing.

If you’ve decided to cheer for the Patriots, you should know that the Patriots won the SuperBowl last year. They are no stranger to the SuperBowl. Ever heard of Tom Brady? He is pretty famous in the sporting world. He is the quarterback for the Patriots and is number 12.

Potential questions to ask

Usually people don’t like to be bothered during their holy Sunday football. But if you find yourself given the opportunity to ask an intelligent, yet vague question about the game, here are some questions you could ask.

  • Who do you think will win? Eagles or the Patriots?
  • Do you think that Nick Foles can play good football against Tom Brady?
  • Can Nick Foles rally his team together to win the Superbowl?
  • Do you think that the Patriots deserve to win another SuperBowl? Or is it time for another team to get the chance?
  • In your opinion, how do you think (insert Eagles or Patriots team here) are playing?

These questions are simple and vague. They will let the people around you know that you understand something about football, and give you very little room for error. Avoid asking questions that may get too complicated. (You just ain’t there yet.)

Potential answers to the questions you just asked

There may come a point in the evening where someone will ask you a question about football. DON’T PANIC! Here are some answers you can use.

  • “I like the way that (insert Eagles or Patriots name here) play.”
  • “Nick Foles can take Tom Brady, Tom needs to be shaken a little.”
  • “Nah, Tom Brady is too good! Nick doesn’t have a shot!”
  • “I believe that Nick Foles can rally his team together to win the Super Bowl.”
  • “I think that it’s time for another team to win the Super Bowl. It’s not fun when the same team wins every year!”

And after you’ve seen the score of the game and watched the teams play you can answer this last question by following this one simple rule.

If someone asks you about the team that is losing say “They are just a little off today, I hope they can rally together to make it work and give us a good game.”

And if someone asks you about the team that is winning say, “They are really finding their niche with this game. They are playing very well. I’m impressed.

It’s that simple. All you have to do is memorize a few names, answers and some lingo and you’re all good to go. This Super Bowl Sunday will be the best one you’ve ever attend because people will actually appreciate that you know something about football. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to know everything about football, you just need to know enough to make other people think you know a lot. It’s also good to start off small. Once you understand the basics, you’ll be able to catch on to the more complicated terms and ask more questions. So get ready to say goodbye to the hate and hello to the hotties who will love you cause you know something about football.

Featured image from Philadelphia Eagles

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.