If you’ve ever found yourself in an argument with someone, you’ve likely heard the phrase, “Grow up.” Or, maybe you’ve told someone else to “grow up.” Usually someone uses this remark if they think the other is being immature. You shouldn’t say it, and here’s why.
It isn’t productive.
If you tell someone to “grow up,” they’re not actually going to change their actions. Instead, you’ll just make them angry. Think instead of more constructive ways to get your point across, or better yet, try to understand what they are feeling and why.
This phrase is commonly used as an insult. It’s for someone trying to seem more mature or like they’re above the other person. It’s best to treat the other person how you would like to be treated. Treat them as an equal. Telling someone to “grow up” is very petty and disrespectful.
If someone is arguing with you, it means they care enough to tell you something they’re unhappy about. Don’t throw this in their face by taking it personally. They are trying to be open and honest with you. Part of maturity is the ability to have productive and respectful disagreements. It’s difficult, but it’s absolutely necessary in order to maintain healthy relationships.
Things can get out of hand during an argument. The best way to prevent this is to communicate calmly and to listen. Avoid taking what they say personally — they’re just trying to be honest with you. Additionally, don’t make accusations or insults. Instead, explain to that person how you are feeling and why. If you aren’t sure why they are upset about something, then just ask more questions. This will show them that you care.
If you end an argument by telling someone to “grow up,” that says more about you than them. It means you are dismissing their feelings and you aren’t willing to listen. It tells the other person that you don’t care about their feelings at all. It means that you care more about being right than you do about resolving the problem. It reflects your own insecurities.
Before you tell someone to “grow up,” take a look at yourself. It may highlight a need for you to mature. Even if you’re a full-grown adult, personal growth is never complete. Next time you feel like telling someone to “grow up,” tell yourself instead!