For the longest time, I thought I was going to be alone forever. I thought I had pushed all of the good men away and that I would not be able to find someone who was compatible enough to put up with me. I thought that I was at fault for not being able to hold on to someone long enough to see if it was something that could last. I thought I was damaged goods, and then you came along.
I don’t know what it was about you that made my heart race, but there was something that made me what to try again. It was something that gave me power, that gave me butterflies, that gave me faith in believing. There was something in the way that you showed actual interest in me and wanted to learn more. There was something in the way you handled us that made me see that I had gotten it wrong along, but it wasn’t me. It was them.
For the longest time, I thought that my perfect man may have taken a wrong turn or was too busy grooming his hair to find me. I thought maybe I had given him mixed signals and drove him off. I thought maybe that my neediness drove him to another girl or my confidence made me come off cocky. I thought I was always the one in the wrong, that there must be something wrong with me. I thought I was never good enough to hold on to a guy, but then you made me feel special.
I don’t know how you did it, but you make me realize how broken I was. How deep the scars were and how much trauma I really did endure. How un-trusting I was of men and how to open back up again. How to tear down the walls that I had built and stop letting the fear of the future get the best of me. How to be a gentleman and how a to show a woman that you care. How a real man should treat you versus all the boys from the past.
For the longest time, I didn’t know how to put my words together to him. How I could tell him that he was changing me for the better. How just an ounce of kindness has done more good for me than the years of “love” from the past. How in a simple act of a date, he has given me the optimism that I had once lost and didn’t think I could regain again. This is my thank you, to the guy that made me realize that there are still good guys out there.
I don’t know how to express my gratitude, but this is what I know for now. I like you and appreciate you for all that you are. We might not work out in the end, but that is okay. You have given me hope once again. You have made me feel as though I’m not at fault. You have made me feel like I’m deserving of love. You made me see the light and gave me something so much more than I can ever understand. You made me unbroken again.
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