Traditionally over the past few decades, it’s been a man’s “job” to control he and his wife’s sex life. Fortunately for us, we live in a generation with a ton of liberated women who embrace their sexuality.
And while some women are heavily interested and intense in the bedroom, sometimes our partners aren’t and it can be frustrating or embarrassing having to ask for them to change their ways to help your needs. Especially when you don’t want to insult his manhood. But don’t worry, we all go through it, it’s just a matter of how you can push to get things going your way.
I’ve created a master list of how to subtly guide your boyfriend to do things you want to do without hurting his ego:
If he’s touching, kissing, or licking a part of your body that you enjoy, don’t be afraid to let out a sexy moan or straight up say, “I love when you ___ there” and be really excited about it. Men love the enthusiasm in the bedroom when they’re doing it right. He’ll get the hint for the next time that he needs to do it more often. Don’t criticize him for doing it wrong.
Guide Him With Your Body
Don’t hesitate to grab his hand and put it where you want it. Guys like a woman who can be in charge sometimes and this is a good way to get him to do what you want. Be active and throw his hand on your boob if that’s what you want.
If your man is into a little bit of role play, make yourself a dominating character (cop, teacher, dominate, etc.). That way you can order him to do what you want, so when he does it, tell him “I love when you ____. Don’t stop.” He’ll get the hint!
Draw a Treasure Map with Lipstick
Use your handy dandy lipstick and draw a map on your body and tell him to follow the trail. X marks the spot where you want him to stop and please you for a little while longer, and the trail leading to it is where he can either run his tongue or rub. Treat it like a bit of a foreplay game to spice things up.
Have a Conversation About It
I don’t recommend having a serious talk about this over dinner, but you should openly communicate these things if it’s that much of an issue. Make the conversation light and playful. I suggest throwing on a movie that has a steamy sex scene in it, that way when the scene comes up you can casually ask, “would you ever want to have sex like that?” and can open the conversation from there. Continue asking what kind of things he’d be opening to trying and he’ll more than likely ask you the same, that’s when you can tell him!
All of these can be understandably embarrassing, especially if he’s not that sexual of a person. If you’ve been known to be a bit extra playful, all of these should work. But if he’s really that shy about it, I highly recommend the talking trick; it’s easily the most effective. If you’re in a sexual relationship where you can’t openly communicate, then you’re doing something wrong anyway.