Going to the gyno is never fun and can even be traumatizing. Whether you are going for a specific issue, your annual check up, or getting on the pill, it’s always an adventure. You have to wait forever in the lobby, then be poked and prodded in places you definitely don’t want your doctor touching. Just to find out you were 100% fine all along, but we do it because we want to be healthy and take care of our bodies. Here are 10 thoughts that go through every girl’s mind while she awkwardly sits through her gyno appointment:
1. OMG OMG…I have been waiting for like forever now…*it’s been 15 minutes and they finally call your name*. Doctors offices are always running late.
2. Now they have to go take my weight.. ugh really? I gained 4 lbs? Damnit…I probably should stop eating carbs…hah, nah.
3. Mandatory pregnancy test? I couldn’t be pregnant…omg what if I’m pregnant? What will I do? What will my family think? How much is an abortion anyway? *3 minutes later* Oh, thank you baby Jesus, I’m not pregnant.
4. Why am I even here? Why do I put myself through this?…I mean I guess I really don’t want to have an STD, but really, is a pap smear necessary?
5. How many drinks do I have per week? Oh, 3 (a night)! I mean I only drink socially. Thank God, she bought that. Why they always trying to make me feel like an alcoholic?
6. Ok, wait for the doctor another 15 minutes. Hi, oh you’re here, great. Now you can finger me and put that awful metal thing in my vagina.
7. Oh no here it comes..ugh this is so uncomfortable…now I’m spread eagle. Oh no, here comes the swab.
8. This is painfully awkward please don’t make small talk with me while your hands are up there. I don’t even like guys talking to me during sex (or foreplay).
9. Thank God this is over. Good, everything looks good and yes, I know I should always wear condoms.
10. Waiting for that phone call…and never get it because your tests were all good. Yay!
Even though the gyno is the not the most fun experience, at least we have them. I mean, let’s be honest what would we do without them? We have all those awkward questions and we lie about half things we say anyway. So, thank God we have the gynos to keep us healthy, going places no one else likes to go, and keeping us not pregnant!
Featured image via screen grab from This Is 40.