With Thanksgiving quickly approaching, you’re starting to think about your travel plans. For those of you who have to fly, you’re probably imagining a scenario somewhat like this: There you are, sitting at your gate, waiting an ungodly amount of time to be allowed to board. You’re listening to music or browsing through the magazine you just picked up at that little store, bored out of your mind. As you sit, you see and hear things you would never encounter anywhere outside the airport. You wonder why there is a man at your gate juggling, who on earth could have lost their child in the airport (come on parents, you had ONE job), and how you could possibly run into the exact same airport-goers every time you fly anywhere. No matter how hard you try, it is nearly impossible to avoid at least one of these dreadful people at the airport.
- The Gossiper: You all know this one – the gossiper sits in the middle of the gate, yelling into their phone about something completely irrelevant. YELLING. This cannot be stated enough. When the gossiper’s phone conversation finally comes to a close, you have approximately 30 seconds to relax before they call the next most important person in their phone to tell THE SAME STORY. Ugh.
- The Nauseating Couple: There they are, nuzzling each other while you try your best not to vomit. Are they trying to win an award for the most PDA at any given time in the airport? Newsflash: this award doesn’t exist. The only thing you win is everyone around you awkwardly averting their eyes.
- The First-Time-Flyer: The first-time-flyer is usually a complete mess. They have bags everywhere, too many articles of clothing, no idea where their boarding passes are, and don’t know how to navigate the various aspects of airport etiquette. They walk on the wrong side of the automated walkways, don’t know when or how to put the green tag on their oversized carry-on, and get in line to board three boarding sections too early.
- The Outlet-Hogger: The outlet-hogger sits himself down by the outlets and plugs in everything he owns – phone, computer, tablet, everything. Your phone is on 7% battery, you still have another flight, you need a ride from the airport, and this d-bag is never going to leave the outlet. Awesome.
- The Fashionista: The worst place to come into contact with the fashionista is at security –they might look fabulous, but they take about three hours unzipping their designer heeled boots, taking off their layered Prada jackets, and untangling their multiple Tiffany necklaces. Otherwise the fashionista isn’t too much of a problem, other than stealing all the attention away from you and your designer… yoga pants…
- The College Girl: You can’t miss the college girl because she has her airplane uniform down pat. She’s got her Pink yoga pants, her brown uggs, her college sweatshirt, and her messy bun. Her iPhone is attached to her hand and she’s got her Cosmo magazine tucked under her arm.
Honorary Mentions: The Juggler, The Sports Fanatic, The Stand-Byer, The Unaccompanied Minor, The CEO-Asshole, The Yoga-Doer, The Runner, The Frenzied Family, The Sleeper