When I started my first semester of college, I worked at a little ice cream parlor with a handful of other girls. I was the oldest one in the group — most of the girls were still in high school.
I like to keep my head down, do my job, and mind my own business. That’s why some of the younger girls would come to me for advice, like I was their “big sister” at work. I didn’t insert myself into drama, and honestly, I thought that was for the best.
The thing is, these girls loved to gossip. When they were together, they transformed into these little mean girls. They talked about other people behind their backs, picked apart the tiniest things, and stood in the corner, whispering.. Their words weren’t just lighthearted venting. They tore people down, and it seemed to be their favorite pastime.
Because I was older and in a different stage of life, I just let these girls be. It wasn’t my job to parent them, and I figured that if they wanted to waste their time talking about other people, then that was on them.
Then one day, I was working a shift with one of those girls.
Everything was normal — me cleaning tables, her working the counter, customers entering the shop. Out of nowhere, our boss called her into the office, but I didn’t think much of it. I just kept stocking napkins and wiping down the counter.
About 20 minutes later, she walked out with tears in her eyes. She didn’t say much; she just started gathering her stuff and putting her apron away. I asked if she was OK, and she finally told me what happened.
Apparently, a customer had overheard her saying something rude about them. She swore that she didn’t say anything out loud — she just texted another co-worker. But somehow, this girl’s text made its way to our boss, and the customer knew about it.
She was fired on the spot.
I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t going to pile on or make her feel worse, so I just nodded. She left, and I finished the shift alone.
Over the next week, I heard more about what went down. She sent that nasty text to the same co-worker she usually gossiped with — and that “friend” showed it to someone else. From there, it flew around until it got back to the boss.
If someone’s willing to talk badly about others in front of you, then they’re capable of talking badly about you too. You’re never immune from their nasty words.
No matter how much you trust someone, if your relationship is built on tearing down other people, that’s not friendship. That’s mutual entertainment. And eventually, your “friend” will turn on you.
Gossip is a slippery slope.
It feels harmless when it’s just you and your “friend” whispering about someone else. It can even feel like you’re bonding. But all it takes is one person repeating your words to the wrong person, and suddenly your name will be on the line.
If you want to protect yourself from gossip, then don’t participate. Just change the subject or remove yourself from the situation.
If gossip feels tempting, don’t take the bait. People can spread your words and screenshot your texts. They can twist your tone. A moment of impulsive snark isn’t worth losing your reputation or your peace.
The people you gossip with will gossip about you. It’s only a matter of time. You can either join the game and wait your turn to become the next piece of gossip or you can skip the game entirely. Me? I skip it every time.
Featured image via Keira Burton on Pexels
