My whole life, I dreamed about my college years. The media I grew up with—10 Things I Hate About You, A Cinderella Story, Gilmore Girls, and so many others—taught me to believe that college would be the defining chapter of a young woman’s life. Even my family told me these years would be the best of my life. Now, as they draw to a close, I feel robbed. Did I miss out on the best years of my life?
In a conversation with my campus therapist, I was surprised to learn that she hated her own college years. She constantly lost friends, struggled to find real connections, and often felt lost. The only consistency in her life was the revolving door of people she depended on. When I shared my concerns, she reassured me that my experience was far more common than I had been led to believe.
I don’t want to be a complete downer, though.
I have enjoyed many college experiences, cherished learning opportunities, and have wonderful memories from the last three years. But I have also endured the greatest pain and grief I have ever faced: hospitalization for an eating disorder, friends who left me, difficult truths about myself, and the realization that certainty in life is hard to come by.
I worked myself to exhaustion trying to avoid failure, starved myself to look better for my friends, faced rejection from those whose opinions mattered, and watched loved ones make choices I couldn’t support. It’s been a journey that’s both wonderful and terrible. I used to think it was silly when Taylor Swift called a moment “miserable and magical,” but now I understand. I haven’t always had fun. But I have learned a lot.
I have learned that growth is painful, that losing people doesn’t mean someone is at fault, and that sometimes loving someone from a distance is healthier than being close.
I’ve learned that falling out with someone doesn’t have to be dramatic, that helping isn’t always perceived as kindness, and that honesty truly is the best policy. Perhaps these are generalities, and maybe they don’t mean much out of context, but I hope that sharing them helps another girl starting her senior year feel less lost and alone.
I’m not excited about my senior year of college. Thinking about it makes me want to cry—but I’ve learned that it’s okay to cry. More often than not, it helps.
Featured image via Emily Ranquist on Pexels
Being a senior in college has been a mix of excitement and reflection for me. I’ve learned to balance independence with responsibility, best ReactJS training institute in trivandrum savoring the final moments while preparing for the future. I value the friendships, lessons, and growth that have shaped this chapter, making it both challenging and rewarding.