You Don’t Lose Friends — You Just Find Out Who The Real Ones Are


In high school, your worth was measured directly by how many friends you had. Who sat at your table and who was in your the bigger the circle, the bigger the person, right? Unsurprisingly, that way of thinking doesn’t make it much past graduation. Eventually, people get jobs and other priorities, and big social circles become a thing of the past. But that doesn’t make losing friends any less of a heartbreak. 

Sometimes, rather than letting toxic friends fade that was meant to fade, we hold on. We keep allowing that toxic behavior that we put up with in high school continue into adulthood, even if we know how to be a good friend.

Do we make excuses out of familiarity and comfort, or because we’ve dealt with it for so long why change now? We let bad friends stay in our lives because it’s a lot easier than throwing them out. 

When you grow up, the way you live your life changes. Your priorities shift and you start learning what it means to put yourself first. And that’s bound to ruffle a few feathers. 

But here’s the number one rule in life that everyone tends to forget: you can do whatever you want. 

You have a say in who’s in your life and who isn’t. You can block numbers, delete toxic friends, and just straight-up ignore anyone who’s toxic to your life.  You don’t owe an explanation, and you definitely don’t owe an entire friendship just because of time. 

So if you feel like your friends are dropping out of your life one by one, consider how many personal changes you’ve made recently. Are you picking up a new hobby? Working more? Drinking less? Are you doing things for yourself that make you happy that maybe some of your friends just don’t get? 

In a way, it’s you, but it’s mostly them. 

There might be a weird little period where it feels like your circle is just your mom and your cat, but you’ll find a crew again.

And wouldn’t you rather have real friends who support you and your goals rather than ones who can’t stand to be around you when you’re doing good?

Don’t stress, and definitely don’t chase. If people are slowly removing themselves from your life because you’re finally learning to love yourself, then let ’em. 

Originally written by Emily Blackwood on YourTango

Featured image via Ivan Samkov on Pexels


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