Is Your Relationship Boring Or Are You Just Comfortable?

boring relationship

The longer you’ve been in a relationship the more you start noticing things about your partner. You and your partner have definitely developed a look for when one of you wants to leave. Or feels bad because of a joke someone made. Date night will always fall on the third Saturday of the month. And you know you’ll always see each other at least four days a week. Things like that will make you feel as if your relationship has become stale. Or even boring.

But how can you tell whether your relationship became boring or if you’re simply comfortable with your routine and romance? 

Here’s how to tell if someone feels that the relationship is boring:

If they feel bored, they don’t feel desired in a relationship. It happens, at some point, in every relationship, but this individual doesn’t feel like he belongs. Negative feelings are usually part of it and make someone restless. 

Boredom comes with a strong desire for something new. Comfort does not. Someone may feel stuck wanting to do something new and different while the other may not want to. It may also make you feel like you’ve exhausted all options, and your partner isn’t willing to budge. It could be either because they’re comfortable or simply don’t care anymore.

This phase is common when transitioning from the honeymoon phase to the “steady” phase when you’ve entered your routine. The feeling of safety, stability, and predictability are usually the most prominent to identify. It’s similar to the feeling of frustration like, “oh great, another night of me begging to do something different and he only wants to play video games while I watch.”  

Moreover, someone who feels that things have become boring but still wants the relationship to work desperately looks for a solution to the problem. They’ll put more effort to find new things or make suggestions. Or if someone is bored, they’ll be so desperate for change that they might just end the relationship. Usually in order to search for someone who can fulfill those needs. 

Here’s how to tell if someone is comfortable:

If they feel comfortable, they are just happy to be spending time with you regardless of what you do, even if it’s repetitive. Positive emotions help make your partner feel at peace.

Someone who feels comfortable has no desire to try anything new. It’s someone who is thankful to come home and is able to just relax for the rest of the day with no twists or turns.

Furthermore, those who are comfortable will feel great and not even notice the other person desperately searching for a change. It’s like the person who is comfortable has no fear or indication that the relationship will end so they’re just enjoying life. 

Relationships need new experiences to keep you thriving. Heck, every single person does. Repetitive things may be comfortable, but every once in a while we need something thrilling in our lives or even a change of scenery. While comfort is something that is crucial in a long term relationship, you still need to try and do different things to keep it spicy. Plus, the more shared experiences you have, the more things you have to talk about and memories to look back on.

For a great balance, don’t ever assume you know everything about each other. People are constantly changing, so talk to them to see how they’ve changed from day-to-day. Check with them how they’ve improved or explored the things you haven’t talked about yet. That’ll give you both a new perspective and understanding without any drastic changes that may cause concern for the comfort one. Comfort provides peace, and at the end of the day, we all want peace. So finding that balance and identifying what you need to do to please both parties is tricky, but not impossible to do.

Featured image via Mike Lloyd on Unsplash


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