Paraeducator. TA. Teacher. Those are just some of the jobs you have when you work as a special education paraeducator. I’m pretty sure that if you’ve worked as a para, you can say it’s never a dull day, and you probably have a story or 20 to tell.
When you work as a paraeducator, you find yourself saying some pretty strange things that make other people shoot you funny looks. Here are 27 funny things you’ve definitely said as a paraeducator.
1. “What are you doing?”
You usually drop this line when you go check on a kid who is being unusually quiet. You then find them doing something you don’t even want to see (use your imagination). A classic time for this line.
2. “Why are your shoelaces wet? It’s not raining out!”
I think this one speaks for itself…
3. “What is in your mouth?”
You almost never use this line at breakfast or lunch. Sometimes you’re asking about contraband food, like candy or gum, but most of the time, you’re not even talking about food. Again, use your imagination…
4. “Would you please stop talking?!”
“Bud, I need you to stop.” “Bud, Bud!” “Oh my God!”
5. “Why is (student’s name) being so quiet?”
We all have that student who doesn’t know how to stop talking When they’re quiet, it usually means that they are up to no good. The silence lets you know that it’s time to go into “investigation mode.”
6. “What is that smell?”
You know what I mean. This one is never good.
7. “Does someone need the bathroom?”
We usually utter this right after question #6. I think it’s pretty clear where I’m going with this…
8. “Where did your other shoe go?”
No matter how many times you double- (or even triple-) knot that damn shoe, it somehow ends up coming off. Plus, it’s always impossible to get back on.
9. “Our clothes stay on at school!”
Shirt, pants, socks… you name it, and two seconds later, they’re off. At some point, you’ll definitely look up and find a shirtless kid standing in front of you.
10. “What did you just say? Anyone else heard what I just heard?”
Sometimes kids say something that seems innocent to them, but it doesn’t come across that way to the adults in the room. At least it’ll make you laugh!
11. “Are you OK over there?”
You’ll find yourself saying this one to either staff or students after you hear a “crash” sound somewhere in the room.
12. “Pull up your pants, please!”
You, all day long…
13. “Please stop licking that!”
You don’t even realize how many inappropriate things there are to lick until you work in a school. You’d be amazed!
14. “Stop smelling my hair!”
Sometimes you turn around, and bam, a kid is smelling your hair. You can’t make this stuff up!
15. “Get that out of your mouth!”
Pencils, paper, erasers, you name it. If it doesn’t belong in your students’ mouths, that’s probably where it is.
16. “ Why do you have that with you today? That doesn’t belong in school.”
Sometimes it’s a funny item; other times it’s something dangerous. Either way, whatever it is doesn’t need to be in school.
17. “You’re walking in the hallway, so open your eyes!”
“If you don’t open your eyes, you’re going to hurt yourself!” When the child walks into a wall, you’ll always think, “See, I told you!”
18. “If you drop that toy on the floor one more time…”
Of course, the student will drop the toy on the floor and proceed to laugh while you pick it up.
19. “Hands out of your pants, please”
20. “We do not throw water bottles in school!”
“Or lunch bags, books, or shoes!”
21. “He has a puddle under his chair!”
Then, the staff member who just heard the unfortunate news will say, “Are you sure? Come on!”
22. “Please stop singing.”
23. “Are you listening to me at all?”
“Why do I even talk around here?”
24. “Dude, stop dancing in the hallway.”
“Come on, let’s go! We can dance in the classroom instead.”
27. “Stop looking at yourself in the mirror, and wash your hands!”
“I love that you know how beautiful you are. We need to go now, though!”
26. “Your pants are wet again? I just changed you!”
“You’ve got to be kidding me right now.”
27. “I love you too, bud, but please let go of me.”
As a paraeducator, my students give the best hugs and show so much love, but man, do they hug tightly!
No matter what part of special education you work in, you’ve probably found yourself saying a few (or all of) these things at some point. No matter how many unusual things you say on the job, though, working in a special education classroom is pretty amazing. Your students will always love you, and there’s never a dull moment!