5 Backhanded Compliments That Actually Make You Feel Like Shit

As a female, I am often branded as dramatic and it is often said that we will over analyze anything we hear. In this article, I show you how both of those points are true for me.

My day-to-day life consists of me applying and reapplying chapstick. That’s it. I prefer to sleep for those 10 minutes other people take to apply their faces; I like to rub my eyes without making a mess of myself; I don’t want more crap in my pores. Sue me.

I recently had my makeup done, not by choice, but because of a big event happening at my company. All day I heard amazing compliments. I was cat-called at least 60% more than the normal rate so that was thrilling. I hope you’re sensing my sarcasm.

This is a PSA to all the people who think they’re being nice when they say the below comments:

“Wow, you look amazing today!”

Oh. So every other day  I look like… Garbage? Ugly? Homeless? When 10 people tell you how much better you look than normal, you start to think that maybe you’re the real life poop emoji but no one ever told you.

“You should wear this color more often.”

Wait what is wrong when I wear the other 6 colors of the rainbow? I’m sorry I can’t be tan year round or that my eyes don’t pop against my other shirts but unless your credit card will be swiped, I am not getting a new wardrobe.

“This hairdo makes you look older.”

Older how? Do I look like a mom, or worse, a grandma? Or is it that I look like a child all other times?  

“Open your mouth when you smile.”

Do you have a tooth fetish or are you just saying my closed mouth smile is ugly? I’m not trying to have wrinkles by the time I’m 35 so if it’s cool with you, I’ll keep rocking my RBF and my closed mouth smile.

“You look like you lost weight.”

Because before I looked chubby and now I’m skeletor. There is enough emphasis on being in shape from mainstream media that I don’t need someone I personally know making me feel even more self-conscious when I should feel like I’m in my safe space with you.

You all think you’re being so nice when you say these things but they can be pretty rude. I’ve heard I’m just bad at taking a compliment, and maybe it’s as simple as that. But if one more person tells me I look better with black lines drawn across my eyelids, I’m going to make their whole eye black with my fist.

Feature Image via Cup ‘o’ Fourtay.

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